What if ?
by arthemys
Summary: And what if Kaori said yes to Ryo and left Tokyo after her brother's death? Away from each other, how can they survive? And what if fate was at work to make them meet again...? Slight alterations from the manga. I do not own City Hunter or any of its characters. Please try and review!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: A new story coming! It'll unravel in a handful of chapters, I think! I'll try to update once a week. Hope you like it!**

**Chapter 1: Messenger of Death**

It was so late in the evening, under the pouring rain, yet Ryo Saeba was on the threshold, ready to knock at the door. A messenger of death, he was. He had just watched and felt his best friend die, in his own arms, and after that he had cleaned the headquarters of the dreadful Teope Union, the new drug cartel in town. But now, now the most difficult task was ahead of him. He had to tell Kaori, his partner Hideyuki Makimura's younger sister. It was the first time he would see her, and most probably the last.

He was hesitating on the doorstep, so long that the rain stopped falling without him noticing. Mustering his courage, he knocked softly and opened the door right away, not waiting for an answer. He was carrying a heavy suitcase full of money for her, some compensation from the drug dealers, and he hoped she would see reason and accept it.

And there she was, expectant and surprised at the same time. She was so beautiful, he thought immediately. In spite of everything, he couldn't help noticing her sensual yet innocent stance, her warm and kind brown eyes, her delicate features, her appealing mouth, her generous curves. A warm feeling spread out from his beating heart to every inch of his body, and his skin tingled as if sparks were running up and down his limbs. He fell in love, hard, for the first time in his life. And here he was, a messenger of death. She would hate him.

Silence was thick, and he was still mesmerized by her, but after a while Kaori spoke, looking both flushed and a little worried.

"You're Saeba-san, aren't you?"

Ryo only nodded, tongue-tied. His blood was singing in his veins, and he couldn't say a word. He didn't dare spoil this unique moment. But he had to.

She bowed slightly at him, then frowned and looked expectantly behind him.

"Nice to meet you, Saeba-san. But where's my brother? Weren't you supposed to come together?"

It was her birthday, and the gift he would give her... Shaking himself he put the suitcase down, then extracted the box with Makimura's ring from his pocket and handed it to Kaori. She took it, nonplussed, and opened the box. She frowned deeper when seeing its content, and stared at Ryo.

"Your brother asked me to give you this for your birthday, just before he died", he said gravely.

He watched as Kaori, turning white, put a hand to her mouth then dissolved into tears, slumping down against the nearest wall. He could only watch, his heart breaking. Words were meaningless here. He didn't know her, and he was a messenger of death. Why would she seek comfort from him?

He tried to hide his own grief and guilt, and he had trouble breathing normally, but she didn't seem to notice. She was too wrapped up in her own sadness, and he really couldn't blame her. At last she raised her head and met his gaze. She was even more beautiful with her eyes shining with tears, he thought. It wrenched his heart to see her so unhappy, and he felt remorse yet again for having let his partner going alone to these criminals.

"How did he die?" Kaori asked with a trembling voice. "Who did it?"

"A drug cartel killed him", he answered her as calmly as possible. "They wanted to hire us. He refused. So they killed him."

She sobbed again, her arms around her legs and head on her knees, and he waited for her. Minutes passed by, and he stared at her with sorrow and love fighting in his heart. He wanted so much to take her in his arms and hug her, but she had just met him, the man who couldn't protect her brother, so he guessed this gesture wouldn't be welcome.

She suddenly rose to her full height – she was a head smaller than him – and wiped her tears away forcefully.

"What now?" she asked him seriously.

"The drug cartel will be after me now", he told her, as fear gripped his guts. Not for him, but for her. He didn't want her to die too. He had lost a brother, he didn't want to lost a love, and his best friend's sister. "And they'll probably track you down too."

"Why?" she asked in disbelief, looking a little scared.

"No witnesses", he said sadly. "I can take care of myself. But you are in danger now, Kaori-chan. It's best if you leave."

"What?" she exclaimed, outraged, a fresh wave of tears cascading down her cheeks, making Ryo shudder and cringe from within. "These bastards kill my brother, and _I_ have to leave?"

"Yes", he said, his heart torn apart. "I don't want you to die too, Kaori-chan. Maki-chan's dying wish was for me to protect you. But I'll soon be targeted by the cartel. I don't want you to be endangered by me. It's best if you leave and settle somewhere away from Tokyo for a while. Here", he reached down for the suitcase and opened it, showing her the bank notes. "I took this money at their headquarters for you. It'll help you."

She stared at the money for a long time, indecision, anger and sorrow appearing on her face, and she stared at him for an even longer time, but then she sighed and her shoulders slumped. "I don't feel I'm left with any choice here."

"Believe me, it's best like that."

"What about you, then? You've lost your partner."

"I'll manage."

It has been a little miracle for him to run into Makimura and having him as his partner, he thought with pain in his heart. And now he was alone, again. Again he lost a partner and a friend. He was so tired of all this. So tired and discouraged. But he had to stay upright, in front of Kaori at the very least. He would grieve and crumble later.

She was still staring at him with her intense, beautiful brown eyes, and he couldn't read her expression. Obvious pain, regret, sorrow, indecision maybe. She was a mystery he wanted to unravel, he wanted to get to know her, he wanted her to fall in love with him like he himself fell just moments ago. But she would leave. Leave Tokyo and any future with him. It was for the best, he told himself firmly. But then, why his heart was screaming out this loud? Why did he feel so dizzy and torn?

Taking a deep breath, he summoned his last bits of strength. "Where will you go?"

Kaori considered him for a moment, eyes shining with tears, and said with a broken voice "I have a very good friend in Sapporo. She often offered me to come live with her and study at the university there. I'll go with her."

"Good", Ryo nodded, trying to remain neutral while his guts were twisting and wrenching unpleasantly. "I'll drive you to the airport tomorrow. Get in touch with your friend and book a plane."

"Are you going to leave me now?" she asked, her voice quivering.

Never, he wanted to shout. But he simply said no. "I'll stay here tonight. I'll sleep on the couch, if it's okay."

She nodded, and they fell silent. It was kind of awkward, but mostly sad. Ryo could see her sorrow in the tears still clinging to her eyelashes and her quivering breath. But he stayed silent. For the very first time in his life, he wanted to take a woman in his arms and hug her just to ease her pain. No sexual thoughts occurred to him. Only a fierce desire to be there for her, to share her pain, to ease her burden.

But he couldn't. He was a messenger of death. She was a young woman with her life ahead of her. He couldn't. A guy so tainted like him had no place in her pure life. He had too much blood on his hands. He couldn't bring her to his dark world, nor show her the darkness within him.

"Please sit down", she finally said, gesturing at him to follow her.

He sat obediently at the loaded table, but he couldn't eat anything. She offered him every dish she had lovingly made, but he refused kindly, and she didn't eat anything either. The only thing he accepted was a beer, and before drinking he raised the bottle in front of his eyes, and murmured "To your memory, Maki, old friend."

His throat was so constricted he didn't believe Kaori had heard him. But she had. She shed some bitter tears while toasting too, and ended up sobbing with her head in her hands.

He wanted to comfort her so badly he felt his heart breaking. And he almost jumped to his feet and ran to her. But he restrained himself with a tremendous effort. He had no right to do so. She would soon go away from him, for ever. Better not to get too close, for her but mostly for him. He was aching enough already. So he stayed silent and remained seated, hating himself.

He did this to her, he knew it, _he_ gave her this pain. By letting Makimura go to these drug dealers, he had condemned him. By accepting him as his partner, he had destroyed his sister's life. It was his fault.

No, he couldn't protect her otherwise than sending her away from him. He had no right to fall in love with her, none at all. But everything inside of him was screaming at him to comfort her, to make the first move, to make her stay with him. He could invite her to stay at his place , protect her every day and every hour, be there for her even if he would have no right to do more, to be more. But he shut his feelings down, drowning the sound of his breaking heart with the ruthless logic of reason.

She calmed down after a while, and stared at him. Her eyes were hypnotizing, a rich and inviting brown warmth within which he could easily fall. But he had to stay strong and neutral. It was killing him. She was wearing her heart up her sleeve, and he admired her for that. But she was too good for him, and he knew it.

After a while, she rose and went to the phone in the corner of the room. He heard her book the first plane to Sapporo, possibly the farthest place in Japan she could go, the farthest from him. His heart twisted in dismay. Only a little longer, he told himself firmly. One more day to hold on, and then he would be able to break down in peace. He would break down to pieces, he could feel it. This time, nothing – no one – would encourage him to stay alive.

"Well", she said after cleraring her throat. "My plane takes off at 10 am tomorrow."

"I'll drive you", he offered, clearing his throat too.

"Thank you", she said, looking disappointed, crying some more. "I... I'll go to my room."

"Okay."

She retreated to her room, and soon reappeared, carrying a blanket and a pillow. She put them on the couch and asked with a trembling voice "Is it okay?"

"Yes, don't worry", he answered gratefully.

She nodded and walked back to her room, closing the door silently behind her. He knew she had been expecting more from him. More comfort, more words, more grief. But he couldn't give her that. He was a sweeper, a murderer. He had nothing to give her. He was a nobody, a living ghost. No, nothing to give to this pure angel.

Sighing wearily he took off his jacket, his pants and his holster, then lay down on the couch, covering himself with the thick blanket, putting his Colt Python 357 Magnum under his pillow. He was exhausted and in pain, but he never found sleep. He tossed and turned restlessly all night, badly wanting a cigarette, wondering if things could be different, if he would've been able to love her provided Makimura didn't die, if she really would hate him from now on.

* * *

In her bed, Kaori couldn't sleep either. Sorrow was raging in her body, making her sob yet again and clutch her pillow in despair. It was the worst birthday she could've ever had. In a few hours, she had lost her beloved brother to some awful criminals, she had lost her future in Tokyo because of said criminals, and last but not least, she had met Ryo just to leave him in the coming morning.

It had been love at first sight for her too, but for her it had happened a few days ago. On the 26th, five days ago, when her life was simple and her future bright. When she still had her brother to rely on. Pain tightening her guts, she recalled that encounter.

It was during the afternoon of the 26th, she had decided to follow her brother to his meeting point with his mysterious partner, Ryo Saeba. Kaori couldn't guess why his brother was so reluctant to introduce her to the sweeper, but she imagined worse and worse reasons every day, driving her crazy. So she had followed him to the Shinjuku park, hiding in the bushes, and there she had been surprised.

Instead of the cold, dangerous, middle-aged man she had always pictured in her mind, on the bench sat a young, very handsome man. He was idly staring at the sky, smoking a cigarette, looking lost in his thoughts and quite normal. But when Hideyuki sat next to him, she caught his stare. His dark eyes were deep black wells, reflecting nothing except well-hidden secrets. He had half a smile on his lips, and a soft breeze was playing with his curly hair.

_He's so handsome_, she had thought, feeling her cheeks go madly red. She had never felt what she immediately felt, but she read enough to know. She was in love. Irremediably and deeply in love. No man could ever steal her heart from now on, as it belonged, and would always belong, to Ryo Saeba.

Confusion raging in her, she had stayed a long time within hearing range, and his deep calm voice soothed and mesmerized her. And then, after a long conversation with Hideyuki, he had surprised her even more. When a young woman walked in front of their bench, Ryo got to his feet, a lecherous expression on his face, and he jumped at the poor woman's breasts, asking her to go to a love hotel with him. He got a slap on his cheek, but, quite undeterred, he jumped at every woman passing in the alley, harassing them. Kaori, appalled, watched in disarray. She saw her brother's jaded but resigned face, and left.

For five days she didn't know what to think of this. There were two sides of Ryo Saeba. First, the pervert, the useless stalker, seemingly only interested in his mokkori, attracted by beautiful women like a moth to a burning flame. But she also saw the serious professional, the dreaming guy staring at the sky, and that side of him intrigued her.

But all this attraction was useless, she told herself dejectedly, burying her head in her pillow. This evening, he showed her nothing but indifference and coldness. He had seemed genuinely affected by her brother's death, her aniki, but he had said nothing to comfort her, nor done anything. She wasn't important to him. He didn't care about her at all. She was just Hideyuki's little sister. A liability. And now he was sending her away. For her protection. _Really?_ she snorted, half-mad half-sad. He just didn't want to have to look after her, that was clear.

"Aniki", she moaned, trying to be strong.

She had to get over it really soon, she told herself firmly. She would have to take care of herself from now on. And she would live her life like her brother wanted, calmly and happily. Vowing not to fall into despair and shedding her last tears, she gave herself this only night to mourn her dear brother and the life she could've had with Ryo, waiting for the sun to rise.

At the crack of dawn she got up, going to the bathroom and preparing her suitcase. She knew she would have to leave most of her belongings behind her, and wondered what would become of the apartment. She would have to ask Ryo about it. So she packed her favourite and warmest clothes for the cool weather of Hokkaido, her new ring and the photo of her brother and herself. That was all she would take with her in this new life she had to live.

When she entered the living room, as quietly as she could, she saw Ryo at the open window, his back on her, smoking. He turned and eyed her with the same mask of indifference on his beautiful features. _I'm nothing for him_, she reminded herself as her heart squeezed in dismay. _Get over it._

"Good morning, Saeba-san", she said, forcing a smile.

"Good morning, Kaori-san", he said calmly.

She stayed there for a few seconds, wanting to make small talk, but his dark eyes reflected nothing, effectively shutting her out. So she went to the kitchen and busied herself with making breakfast. Soon she brought the dishes on the table of the living room and looked around her. She would miss this place for sure, but on the other hand these walls and furniture retained too much memories. Bittersweet ones, with her father and her brother, making her sad.

She was jerked out of her reverie when Ryo abruptly crossed the room and sat across from her, looking famished. She quickly offered him the food, and he piled it up high in his plate, soon swallowing it. The guy had quite an appetite, she noted, and he seemed to enjoy the food. It brought some comfort in her torn heart.

They ate in silence, she didn't dare disturb him. She was surreptitiously observing him, and she liked him more and more, even if he was eating like a pig. A fresh wave of sadness hit her, and she fought hard to remain impassive, forcing down the food into her tightening throat.

When he finished his second large helping, she abandoned the food she had been toying with for the past five minutes and pushed her plate away. He met her eyes, looking like a dark angel, beautiful but out of her reach, still indifferent. Mustering her courage, she asked about the apartment.

"What do you want to do with it?" Ryo asked right away.

"I don't know", she said, frowning. "I guess it depends."

"What about?"

"Well, is this travel of mine to Sapporo a definitive one, or can I come back to Tokyo sometime?"

She had sounded harsh, but he just shrugged. "I really don't know. Depends on me, I suppose."

"What do you mean?" she said, her stomach churning unpleasantly.

"I have to do my job", he explained, looking at her in the eye, looking sombre and more serious and dangerous than she had ever seen. " The cartel, the Teope Union, they're after me. I won't stay idle and wait for them patiently, that's not my style. I'll track them down, one by one if I have to. I don't know how much time it'll take. So I really can't answer your question."

"You'll do it... all by yourself?"

Fear gripped her guts. She didn't want him to die. But one lonely man against a drug cartel... what could he do? They would kill him. He wouldn't survive. And if he died...

"Let me help you", she said suddenly.

"What?"

For the very first time since they met face to face, she saw something fugitive appear on his features, a passing emotion she couldn't name, but it had been there. And even if he regained his composure almost immediately, she had seen the chink in the carefully builded armour. He wasn't indifferent. But then, why was he behaving like that? She had no answer to that.

"I could help you", she repeated more firmly. "I could be your partner."

He stayed silent for a few seconds, apparently thinking about his answer. And he shook his head.

"Thanks for the offer, Kaori-san. But no. You don't know what you're talking about. My dark world isn't yours. I would break my promise to your dying brother if I kept you with me, you'd be too close to be left untouched. And I don't want to put you in danger."

She studied him closely while he spoke, but the mask was on again. Only a spark of emotion (regret? hope?) crossed his eyes, but he was master of his every reactions. And she felt crushed yet again, he was pushing her away again. _Well, this is it_, she thought.

She nodded and rose, and looked around her. "Could you have the apartment emptied of everything except the things in my bedroom, please?" she asked with a trembling voice. "I can't face... Aniki's clothes, his things... I just can't. And I don't want to keep anything. I already have all that I want to keep with me."

"Okay", he accepted calmly. "And your things...?"

"Please rent a storage unit. I'll pay for it. When I'm settled, I'll send you my address."

He nodded, then extracted a pen and a piece of paper from the pocket of his jacket, and scribbled down something. He handed her the thing. It was a tab from a nightclub, but she saw his awful writing and read aloud the address and phone number to be sure.

"That's right", he said. You can contact me if you need it. If I don't answer the phone, leave a message."

"All right."

He shot a look at the clock on the wall. "Are you ready to leave?" he said with a soft voice, one which could make her cry. She simply nodded, not trusting her voice anymore, and returned to her room to fetch her suitcase. She took a last look around her, not wanting to dissolve into tears again, and gently caressed the wood of her bed, the one her brother had offered her.

"Goodbye, Aniki", she whispered. "Thank you for everything. I'll stay alive for you."

When she came back to the living room, Ryo was finishing clearing the table. He caught her guilty expression and said "We don't have time to spare. Don't worry, I'll take care of this."

He then took the suitcase from her hand, and the brief contact made her skin tingle, as if some electricity was running up her limbs, warming her throughout her whole body. He quickly withdrew his hand and turned to the door. Sighing deeply and miserably, she followed him and locked the door behind her, handing him the keys.

The trip to the airport was a short one, and time seemed to speed up as Kaori watched everything from the passenger window of Ryo's car. She wanted to have a last look at her beloved city, at the neighbourhood of Shinjuku she had got used to love in spite of its bad reputation.

But most of all she wanted to look at the man who – not knowingly – would keep her own heart away from her. She knew already that she would never be able to feel whole, a grown-up woman again, while she was away from him. It was crazy, it was stupid, but it was like that. She was in love. No reason in love, she thought with a bitter smirk on her lips.

She felt tense, but she noticed she wasn't the only one. Next to her, hands gripping the wheel hard, Ryo seemed vaguely ill-at-ease, although he was obviously trying to keep his cool. And he didn't say a word. Nothing at all. Kaori remembered her brother saying that Ryo was a man of action, not good with words, but...

But maybe it was the last time she would see him, she realized abruptly. Maybe she would settle in Sapporo with her old friend Miki, never to return to Tokyo. Maybe Ryo would get killed in his war against the Teope Union. A violent shiver ran down her spine, and she clutched the hem of her duffel coat. She couldn't break down now. In the plane maybe, if she was left well alone. But not now. Not in front of him.

At last Ryo parked in front of the terminal. He grabbed her suitcase and escorted her to the counter. She checked in, and her suitcase disappeared, to be loaded in her plane. She would take off fifteen minutes later. Silently they walked to the gate and there she turned to face the man she loved.

He was still like a marble statue, his eyes reflecting nothing, and she lost all hope. It was useless, he would never love her. He would never be interested in her. She was nothing to him, just his late partner's sister he was sending away to honor a promise and be left well alone, with his guns and his nightclubs and the women he chased.

"Well, goodbye, Saeba-san", she said, her voice quivering.

She saw him swallowing uneasily, but his voice was firm as iron when he said "Goodbye, Kaori-san. Take care of you. And please send me your address and phone number as soon as possible. I want to keep track of you. And I'll send you the money."

She nodded, her heart sinking. Nothing caring in his tone, he just had to keep a bloody promise. And then she turned away from him. She handed her ticket to the lady in the uniform who wished her a pleasant flight, and then, on a sudden impulse she couldn't muster, she turned round. She wanted to see him a last time.

And she saw him, all right. He was almost turning his back on her, not looking at her anymore, but she saw it clearly. His eyes had lost their cold look, and pain, real pain, showed. But what made her shudder was the single tear shining from the corner of his eye and running down his right cheek.

She stopped, rooted to the spot. He was gone, now, but had he really...? A tear? Dumbstruck, disbelieving, she stayed there, unable to think, until the lady urged her to board the plane. And while sitting down on her seat, oblivious to the bustling people around her, she felt a smile making its way on her lips. No, Ryo Saeba wasn't indifferent, after all. He felt something, and it had showed.

And that was all she needed for now. She would go to Sapporo, she would live there for some time, she would wait for him to clear the place until he told her she could come back. And she would come back, one day. To her brother's resting place, to Shinjuku. But most of all she would come back to him.

* * *

**Please leave a review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**** Separation**

_Aniki: brother (older)_

_Moshi-moshi: hulloh (answering the phone)_

* * *

Kaori landed in Sapporo at 11.30, feeling exhausted and lonely. She had fallen asleep as soon as the plane took off, and awakened only when the pilot officer announced their descent to Sapporo. In a daze, she waited for her suitcase, then searched for a payphone. She had to contact Miki.

"Moshi-moshi?"

"Hi, Miki-chan! It's Kaori."

"Kaori-chan! How lovely to hear from you! How are you?"

"Actually, I'm... I'm not too good", she said, her voice trembling.

"What? Please explain yourself! You're worrying me!"

"In fact, I've just landed at Shin-Chitose. Could you...?"

"Of course, Kaori-chan! I'm coming right away! Wait for me at the west entrance, I'll be there in twenty minutes."

Kaori hung up, feeling a little bit better now that she knew her best friend would soon pick her up, and went to find an empty bench near the said entrance. She had had no time to prepare herself from this heart-breaking separation, from her city, from... _No_, she scolded herself, feeling tears welling up in her eyes yet again. _Don't think about him now. He'll take care of himself. Just take care of yourself now so you don't annoy him anymore. You'll see him again soon._

She half-convinced herself, but her heart was seriously rebelling against her brain. Why did she have to fall in love now? With a sweeper, a murderer, a guy wanted by all the police forces of Tokyo? A guy who, in spite of what her best knowledge and the mere reason that was resonating in her mind said, wasn't able to protect her brother from these mad drug dealers? She really didn't blame Ryo, she tried to convince herself. But the truth was, some tiny, shameful part of her did. She would have work to do on that.

The minutes passed by in a blur, and when she heard a shout at the entrance, she started a little, wrapped up as she was in her own thoughts.

"Kaori-chan!"

"Miki-chan!"

She got up and ran to her best friend, throwing herself in the outstretched arms waiting for her, and soon, to her intense dismay, she dissolved into tears. The shock of the last twenty-four hours was simply too overwhelming.

"There, there, Kaori-chan", Miki whispered in her ear, caressing her short brownish hair, effectively soothing her. "Don't worry, I'm here now. Breathe calmly. It's okay."

Soon Kaori took deeper breaths, her sobs died down, and she was able to pull herself together. She detached herself from her worried friend and grabbed the handkerchief she was handing to her.

"Thanks, Miki-chan. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Just take your time. We'll talk in the car."

Miki grabbed Kaori's suitcase and they exited the airport, heading to the parking lot. Soon Kaori was on the passenger seat of Miki's Prius, and the latter pulled up in the light traffic of Sapporo. Five minutes passed, then Miki started, looking a little nervous.

"So, Kaori-chan, what brings you to the coldness of Hokkaido? I'm happy to see that you've come to see me at last."

"I'm very happy to see you, Miki-chan", Kaori replied with a quivering voice, trying to be strong. "But I'm afraid I had to come, and not by choice."

"What do you mean?"

"It's..."

It was hard for her, painstakingly hard. Talking to her best friend about it would mean that the whole thing was real, and not some weird and morbid nightmare. But she had to. Miki was trustworthy, and she deserved the truth, if only because she could be a collateral damage from the drug cartel if they tracked her down here. Focus, Kaori, she encouraged herself. Be a woman, not a cowering child. Face your fate.

"In fact, I came here because I need you to house me for a while. I had to leave home in a hurry."

"What for? Hideyuki-kun's being too pushy? I don't believe it."

"No, Miki-chan. Aniki's dead."

"What?"

Miki, looking flabbergasted and shocked, looked at her for so long that Kaori feared they would crash into a passing truck. But Miki steadied the car and concentrated back on her driving, frowning deeply.

"How did he die? In a police mission? When?"

This would be tricky. Kaori knew that Miki didn't know anything about her brother's resignation from the police or his partnership with Ryo, or his underground job. But she had to be honest. Miki was like a tomb. She wouldn't tell anyone. Besides, she thought with a grudging smile, she didn't have anyone to tell. She was all alone, like her now.

"He died yesterday. He was on some sort of mission, but not for the police. He resigned from it two years ago. He was killed by a drug cartel."

This time, no shout from Miki, who was staring at her with an appreciative look. A too-knowing look, Kaori realized. It was like old news for her best friend. How could that be...?

"And now you're targeted as well?" Miki asked seriously.

"It's a strong possibility."

"So why are you here? Kaori, forgive me but if your brother's been killed yesterday, you should be dead by now. How could you escape them?"

They were reaching the part she was reluctant to tell. _Be honest_, she reminded herself firmly.

"My brother's partner, he protected me yesterday and this morning. He drove me to Narita airport. He... he told me he would take care of this matter."

"All alone?" Miki was incredulous. "How can he be such an idiot? What's his name?"

"He's from the underground, Miki. I don't think you know him."

"Maybe you'll be surprised, Kaori-chan."

The tone sent chills up Kaori's spine. She watched her friend very carefully, and soon recognized the faraway look in her eyes. She was thinking about the past, about the man who had left her all by herself, returning to life after... After what?

Miki never told her about her past, the childhood she had, except that she didn't grow up in Japan. She arrived at age fourteen, in a foster home where the parents weren't too concerned about her but kind enough, and they had been best friends ever since. But she never spoke a word from the time before they met, only telling her during a post-drinking-abuse conversation that she had been raised by a kind and extraordinary man who had left her at fourteen to fend for herself.

So... was Miki from the underground too? Was that what it meant? So Kaori told her, her heart beating faster at saying his name.

"His name is Ryo Saeba."

"Humpf. City Hunter, no less. Then there shouldn't be any problem."

This time, it was Kaori's turn to be flabbergasted.

"You... You know him?"

"Not in person. Just by his reputation. He's quite the best in his line of work, apart from..."

Kaori saw Miki's eyes becoming very bright all of a sudden, so she had no trouble finishing the sentence.

"Apart from the man who left you. Is that it?"

"Yes", Miki nodded gravely, a single tear escaping her eye.

Silence fell for a few seconds, and then Miki spoke up again.

"You've been very trusting and straightforward with me, Kaori-chan. I'll do the same. You've deserved it since a long time ago."

She took a deep breath, and started the sad story.

"I don't know my real family. I was an orphan from my early days. I was raised in a South American country by some mercenaries I ran into on a terrible day. I was starving and lonely, and one of them took pity on me. Against the other men's advice he took me with him. I had a family at last. He raised me, he fed me, he taught me to defend myself. He even trained me to..."

She drifted off, but Kaori understood.

"You became a mercenary yourself, didn't you?"

"Yes. But he... one day, after a mission we did together, he told me that was enough. He told me I had to go away from him, from this warlike life, to have a normal life. He sent me away by the first plane to Japan. I couldn't change his mind. I tried everything. But he was... he is like a rock. When he decides something..."

The sad but tender tone alerted Kaori. She knew then, and she saw it on her best friend's face. It was certain as the sun rising in the east on every morning.

"You're in love with him."

"Yes", Miki admitted, shedding another single tear.

"Do you know what happened to him?"

"He retired from the mercenaries' group a few years ago, when the war was over. He came to Japan to be a sweeper, like Saeba."

"Where is he?"

"In Tokyo."

Kaori thought carefully about her following words.

"Do you plan to go meet him someday?"

"Yes. I don't know when exactly. I know he's keeping track of my whereabouts, so I try to be oblivious. Prove him I really have a normal life."

"Do you?" Kaori wondered aloud.

Miki shot her a sympathetic look.

"Kaori, you have to know that when you fall into the underworld, you don't quit. It's for a lifetime. You're marked. Tainted by the blood, the injuries, the psychological trauma. You cannot have any normal life whatsoever. Falcon was a fool to believe such a nonsense."

"Falcon. It's his name?"

"His codename as a mercenary. His real name is Hayato Ijuin. And your Saeba nicknamed him Umibozu."

"Sea elephant? What for?"

"I don't know. Maybe because he's tall and strong, maybe because Saeba is stupid. But the nickname stuck. In the underworld, everybody knows him as Umibozu now, just like everybody knows Saeba as City Hunter."

Kaori fell silent as Miki parked in front of a small building. The two women got out, and Kaori understood immediately what Miki meant about the coldness of Hokkaido. The blowing wind was bitterly cold, and on the sparse trees along the pavement glittering ice drops shone in the sunlight. She hurriedly followed her friend inside of the building, and they went up the three flights of steps. Miki opened the door on the left.

"Welcome to my place."

Kaori entered and felt at ease in a heartbeat. The place was neat, spotless, with rare furniture and even rarer decorations, as her friend liked the place back in Tokyo they had shared during high school. Miki led her to a nearby guest room and put her suitcase on the bed.

"I hope you'll be comfortable here, Kaori."

The young woman noticed the change immediately. No -chan after her name meant that Miki, who had always shared everything with her except her past, was now feeling like she was family. And that brought tears in her eyes. _I'm turning into a fountain_, she thought half-amused half-moved.

"It'll be more than perfect. Thanks, Miki."

Miki smiled, looking moved too, and offered her a cup of coffee. Kaori gladly accepted, she was chilled to the bone. Soon they sat in the small kitchen, catching up, but silence settled after a few minutes. Kaori was feeling better now she had talked about the dreadful news, but her mind was still wandering.

"What are you thinking about, Kaori?"

Miki's soft voice jarred her, and she stammered a little.

"I'm... I'm not thinking about anything in particular. Just... just wondering what I'll do now."

"Mmmh." Miki clearly wasn't convinced. "Or, should I ask, who were you thinking about?"

Kaori knew the mischievous glint in her best friend's eyes. She knew she was hiding something. Time to confess everything.

"I was thinking about Saeba-san. I hope he'll be okay. He'll face the Teope Union all alone, so I worry, a lot actually."

"The Teope Union? Doesn't sound familiar", Miki said. "But is it all, Kaori? You worry about his safety? Or you worry about him?"

"Same thing, isn't it?"

Miki shook her head, a smirk on her lips.

"Of course not. First case, you worry he'll get killed because of the drug cartel. Second case, you worry he won't return your love."

Kaori wasn't surprised. Miki had a knack for nailing things, and like always she had it right on the head.

"Both, Miki. It's true I don't feel good with leaving him alone fighting to protect both of us, but it's also true I'm in love with him, and I don't know what will happen to me if he dies."

"Then you know exactly what I feel", Miki stated calmly.

The sharing of feelings was a comforting thing, and they drank their coffee in complicit silence. Then Miki made lunch, helped by Kaori, and they ate quickly. After that, Miki insisted Kaori had some sleep, since she looked dead on her feet, no joke meant, and the young woman complied.

When she woke up, the sun was setting. She settled down in the guest room, arranging her meagre belongings, and took out last the photo of her brother and herself.

"Aniki", she whispered softly. "I miss you so much. But it's okay. I'm with Miki, and Saeba-san will protect me. So don't worry. Please look after me from where you are."

She put it on the nightstand, and then she remembered. She went to the kitchen and asked Miki for a pen, a sheet of paper and an envelope. Then she wrote a short letter. Miki gave her a stamp just as she was sealing it.

"Already writing to your lover?" she teased her.

"Just giving him your address, if you don't mind. He wants to keep track of me too."

"I don't mind. Did you tell him about me?"

"Just your first name. Nothing else."

"Okay with me. We'll post it tomorrow, on our way to university."

"Miki, I..."

"No, Kaori. We've talked about this countless times on the phone before. You didn't want to go to a university in Tokyo because it was too expensive, but here in Sapporo it's much cheaper. You'll work with me in a little café in evenings and the weekends, so you'll have enough money to pay for your studies and more than enough to live too."

"Don't forget I'll pay you for the room too."

"We'll see about that. In the meantime, come. Dinner is ready."

* * *

Four days after driving Kaori to the airport, Ryo walked back to his apartment, weary and in pain. He had finished his mission, he had killed every single member of the Teope Union in Tokyo, but he hadn't been unscathed. He had been injured in his left upper arm with a bullet, and an explosion from the headquarters had left him groggy.

Groaning, he put the mail he had just picked up on the low table and collapsed onto his sofa. He had to look at the wound, even if sleeping was all he wanted right now. But the sight wasn't worrisome. The bullet had grazed him. Only the blood loss, and more probably the concussion from the explosion, made him so dizzy. So he disinfected the wound, he bandaged it, and he sank back against the cushions.

He was free now. Taking care of a powerful drug cartel like the Teope Union all by himself would allow him to have a break for a few months at least. Every yakuza or villain in town would fear him even more than before, therefore leaving him alone and doing nothing to attract his attention. But like every time, some new idiots would eventually come to town, pretend they were the best, and to prove it would want to kill him. Old news, he thought bitterly while lighting a cigarette.

He was so weary. So tired of this clandestine life, of these deaths and injuries around him. His world was so dark. From the beginning he had had the worst luck that could happen to somebody. Raised by mercenaries, taught to maim and to kill when he should've been playing with marbles and sticks, used by his group as the ultimate weapon, and finally left all by himself at the end of the civil war in South America. Gone to the States, become a hitman, become the best. Gone to Japan, his birth country, with no roots waiting there for him, still a hitman, become the best here too.

And then he met Hideyuki Makimura. The only man who saw behind the hitman, behind the pervert, behind the sorry excuse for humanity he was. The only man who had convinced him to be a sweeper, to restore some justice in this neighbourhood instead of selling his gun just for money. And thanks to this kind man, he wasn't just a murderer anymore. He was City Hunter, a respected sweeper who was paid to avenge some wrongs, not do whatever he wanted. He wasn't all-powerful anymore, he didn't have any right over life and death anymore, and that made him human again.

Lost in his thoughts, he didn't hear the soft knocking on his door, but he heard the footsteps coming inside. He recognized them immediately. But tonight, he wouldn't play his usual part. Tonight wasn't the night. He turned his head an inch to the left and met the intense and lost look of the beautiful young woman.

"I don't suppose I should wish you a good afternoon, should I, Saeko?"

"No, you shouldn't", she simply said, calmly sitting beside him and locking eyes with him.

In her bright amethyst gaze, he could see her sorrow, her loneliness, her pain, a little bit of guilt and resentment too. All because of him, of course.

"Is it time already?"

"You just have time to take a shower and put on some clean clothes, Ryo", she scolded him.

"Why should I bother? It's not as if I can be next to you, next to the coffin", he said with a bitter taste in his mouth.

"You'll be nearby, and that's all that matters", she said comfortingly. "Makimura wouldn't resent you for that."

"But maybe he'll resent me for sending his little sister away. She won't attend her own brother's funeral because of me."

"I don't think so. You meant to protect her, after all. Are you done, by the way?"

"Yes", he confirmed, his eyes closing in spite of himself. "I've killed their general an hour ago. Destroyed their headquarters on the way. Not a single one remains. Your colleagues will have a hell of a time cleaning up that mess. And in case you're wondering, I'm not sorry about that, at all."

"That I know", she said with an even gentler tone, which made him suspicious.

"What's the matter, Saeko?"

"You look like you've walked to hell and back, Ryo. Did you take a look at yourself?"

"I arrived ten minutes before you did. All I did was treating my arm, nothing more."

"So you didn't notice that your clothes are soaked in blood, I assume. Or the gash on your forehead."

"A gash?"

He wiped his forehead with his left hand, and sure enough it came back dark red with dried blood. He sighed.

"No wonder I feel so dizzy. Do I need stitches?"

"Yes. Fortunate you are, though, I can do it myself."

"Hold that thought."

He got up with difficulty, and she had to rush at his side to steady him. He refused to be accompanied to the bathroom, though, so she sat down again, idly looking around the room, while he made his way to his shower stall. The vertigo he had felt had passed, and he was able to scrub himself thoroughly, and examined the mess in his mirror. He needed at least three stitches, all right.

Sighing again as he shaved his growing stubble, his thoughts wandered. They wandered to the cemetery, where his best friend would be lying under six feet of dirt in less than two hours. To Sapporo, where Kaori was probably crying and grieving still. To his own living room, where Makimura's fiancée was waiting for him, ready to forgive him his failures and still be there for him, even if she had lost the love of her life.

He went to his bedroom to pick up some clean clothes, and when he entered the living room, he saw Saeko waiting for him, with everything ready at the table.

"Here, sit down next to me."

"Are you inviting me to make a slow dance with you, Saeko-chan?" he tried flirtatiously.

She frowned, but the shadow of a smile was playing on her lips.

"Not tonight, Ryo-chan. I've got to make you fit for the ceremony."

In no time she was done with his stitches, so they left for the cemetery. It was late in the afternoon, but Ryo was exhausted as if it was midnight. Saeko and him went each with his own car, he couldn't be seen with her. She was a police officer, after all, she was supposed to arrest him. Soon he parked well away from the other cars, and approached the grave under the dark shade of the trees. He rested against a trunk and followed the simple ceremony with a distracted expression, but not losing a word.

Very few people had come. Saeko, of course, was next to the coffin, and she was crying openly now. Two old colleagues from the old time of Makimura in the police were there too. And that was all. Except himself, of course, but he couldn't approach nearer. And Kaori was missing. Her absence was loud, so loud inside this quiet cemetery. It wrenched Ryo's heart. He felt bad. Woozy, nauseous, guilty. Bad. He had to put a hand on the tree trunk and bend over while they put the coffin down into the grave, worried that he would vomit here and then.

And he did, for long minutes. When he finished retching, horrible spasms still contorting his stomach, he felt Saeko's hand on his shoulder. And then he knew that in spite of everything, she had truly forgiven him. It warmed his heart. But he would've rather have another hand on his shoulder, another warmth. But he had sent away that warmth, to a cold region of Japan, away, so far away, out of his reach.

"I'll drive you back, Ryo. We'll come back for your car tomorrow."

Too weak to protest, he let her stir him to her Porsche, let her drive him back to his place, let her put him in his bed, let her go away silently and still crying. For once he allowed himself to be a weak, sick, ordinary grieving man. No City Hunter tonight, just Ryo Saeba.

And when he shut his eyes, he remembered the mail on his low table. He had seen a letter from Hokkaido, he was almost certain of it. Maybe a letter from his angel. He would read it first thing in the morning. And on that comforting thought, he fell asleep.

* * *

**A/N: Please leave a review ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:**** Thanks to AT and Guest for the kind reviews! Hope you appreciate the update ;)**

* * *

**Chapter 3:**** Letters**

It was late in the afternoon when Ryo awoke from his deep slumber. He had had vivid nightmares which made him feverish and sweaty, and his soaked sheets were a real mess. He could feel the fever burning him and the pain in his forehead. He would have to see the Doc very soon. He couldn't be ill now. He had to make sure he had finished his job once and for all. For Maki, and for Kaori. And speaking of Kaori...

He hastily took a shower, changed his bed sheets and found some unruffled clean clothes at the bottom of his wardrobe. Looking around him he saw the mess he lived in, and decided to take matters in his hands really soon. He couldn't go on like that. Nobody would clean after him. He had to be a responsible grown-up. That thought made him sneer. Grown-up? The number-one seducer in Japan?

Shaking his head, he hurried downstairs to his living room and, forgetting about eating anything, he went straight to his low table. He pushed aside the two bills and reverently grabbed the handwritten letter with a stamp of Sapporo. He felt strangely moved. It was the first letter he had received, ever. The elegant handwriting was a woman's, and so was the lingering scent of perfume on the envelope. But it wasn't Kaori's. Her friend's, more probably.

Carefully, with slow movements he opened it and read the few lines, a smile broadening on his tight features.

_ Saeba-san,_

_I arrived in Sapporo well enough. My friend Miki came to fetch me, and I'll stay at her place for some time. Here's her address. I do hope you're all right and that you won't take too much risks during your latest job. Please take care._

_Yours truly_

_Makimura Kaori_

He sat back on his couch, rereading the letter again and again. He even traced the words with his fingers, loving the kanji she used. He felt a whole lot better thanks to this simple letter, some news from his angel, some caring words she was sending him. For him, the lonely man, the murderer. He had a letter. He felt alive, and ridiculously happy.

Clutching the letter against his heart, he put his head back on the cushion of the sofa and soon fell asleep again. And this time, no nightmare came to torture him. Only a beautiful angel pressed her lips on his forehead, easing his pain.

The knocking on the door woke him up. He listened for a second, but he recognized his visitor.

"Come in, Saeko!"

Reluctantly he folded the letter and put it back in the envelope. It was for his eyes only, not the prying ones of his favourite police inspector. Seconds later the young woman made her way to his couch and sat next to him.

"Hi, Ryo. Feeling better?"

"Sure. You?"

"I'm all right."

That was it. Ryo knew that the day before they both saw a weakness in each other's usually careful behaviour, one they weren't ever supposed to see, and that this matter was settled with these few simple words. They kept each other's secrets, especially personal ones like showing pain.

"So, Saeko-chan, want to go to my room and have some good mokkori time?" he asked playfully, wanting to divert her from the sombre thoughts reflecting in her eyes.

"Not today, Ryo-chan", she said with a tiny flicker of mischief in her smile. "I have news for you."

"I'm listening", he said, getting serious at once.

"The Teope Union, they have another base in Japan. In Yokohama, to be more specific."

His heart sank. That meant that his job wasn't done yet. It meant that Kaori was still in danger.

"I'll leave immediately", he said, half-rising from his seat, but Saeko's hand on his chest stopped him.

"No need. The police and the secret services are raiding their headquarters just as we speak. Everybody is under arrest. They attacked as soon as they found the evidence you left behind you yesterday here in Tokyo. Thanks to you, we have a nice bunch of nasties to sue and some serious drug stuff to destroy. Don't worry, you've done your part."

He was surprised to hear the sigh escaping his own lips, but Saeko just frowned, appraising him.

"Maybe I should drive you around today, Ryo. Clearly you're not in peak condition."

"Thanks, Saeko, but no thanks. I just want to pick up my car, and that'll be fine."

She didn't push it, but he could see her worry. He didn't love her, but he had always felt a strong friendship towards her, after Makimura introduced her to him. He even saved her once, although she never suspected anything, when she and Maki were on a date.

His thoughts came back to his dead partner. Such a waste. Hideyuki was a truly exceptional man, and an outstanding partner. He would never be able to replace him. But without him, what would become of City Hunter, he wondered.

And his thoughts wandered even more, to Kaori. She had been shocked and wounded by her brother's death, but he had seen her strong gaze, heard her unwavering voice when she offered to be his partner. And that thought... _No, Saeba!_ he shouted at himself, mentally slapping his cheeks. _She's pure, she's innocent, she can't be your partner in the underworld! Don't you dare think about it any longer!_

Saeko's voice shook him out of his mental fight, brain versus lovesick heart.

"Where is Kaori-san?"

"In Sapporo, at a friend's. That reminds me..."

He straightened himself on the couch and asked her seriously "Could you keep a tab on her, please? I have no contacts in Hokkaido, and I don't like being blind."

"You would trust the police on this matter?" Saeko asked, amused.

"Better be a half-blinded man than be completely blind", he shrugged. "I don't want a minute-by-minute record, just the general situation. I'd also like to have more info on her friend, the one she lives with, a girl called Miki."

"Why? You don't trust her?"

"No, not exactly. But..."

His voice trailed off. Something was nagging at the back of his mind, some light suspicion about this friend. But he had never heard of anyone called Miki before, he didn't understand.

Absent-mindedly he picked up the envelope and smelled it again. And there it was. Very, very faint, but he had a supernatural sense of smell, thanks to the angel dust he had been forced to take when younger.

"This envelope, it smells of a feminine perfume, but also of gunpowder."

"Are you sure?" Saeko said disbelievingly, sniffing the thing herself.

"It's faint, but it's there. I just want to know where Kaori set foot, that's all."

"If you wish", the young woman relented. "I have an old partner in Sapporo, I'll call a repay of favour."

"Thanks, Saeko."

"You can say goodbye to my debts, Ryo. That favour is worth all I had to pay you."

"Okay for me", he said calmly, focusing only on Kaori.

Surprised, Saeko stared at him for a long time, then a smile appeared on her face.

"Looks like Kaori-san made quite an impression on you. I wonder..."

"What?" he asked, shaken out of his mild thoughts, shooting her an alarmed look. If she had guessed...

"Nothing, nothing", she waved her hand dismissively. "Just talked to myself. Shall we go, then?"

"You're the driver."

After he got into his car and said goodbye to Saeko who promised to keep in touch as soon as possible, he drove to the Doc's clinic. There he got scolded for having delayed to come see a real professional, and ended up on a bed, examined by the grumpy and grumbling old man who had cured him years and years ago. Soon he was sentenced to a night on said bed, so he obeyed, but he asked for his defense a pen and something to write onto.

He took his time to write his answer, and he was exhausted when he put down the pen. He fell asleep, thinking that he would send the letter the following day, with some bank notes from the drug cartel to help Kaori settle in her new city. For the first time in a very long time, he felt appeased.

* * *

Kaori was slowly adjusting to her new life in Sapporo. A week had passed already since her arrival, and the cold had only eased by a fraction of a degree. But she felt relatively good. She didn't fall asleep crying anymore, and she talked a lot with Miki. But she still had nightmares, disturbing ones where she always saw her brother or Ryo killed, and she always woke up abruptly, a scream on her lips but not uttering a sound, drenched in sweat.

In the morning, she and Miki attended the university of Sapporo, and she studied literature. She loved it. But she wondered if she wouldn't be better studying to be a teacher, as she loved being with children. Miki was encouraging her, but she was taking the time to think about it.

At five o'clock both women would go to the nearby Sakura Café, where they worked at the counter. Kaori liked it, even if some guys could really destabilize her with their heavy seduction techniques. Sometimes, while smiling pleasantly and saying nothing, she felt her palms twitching, as if she was ready to smash them to a pulp under some huge instrument. And then, Miki would come to the rescue, and Kaori admired her patience and indifference towards these leeches.

At eleven they would leave to go home, tired to the bone and speaking few words. That night Kaori was dead on her feet, ready to collapse head first onto her bed, when Miki handed her a fat envelope she was examining meticulously.

"Here, for you, from Tokyo", she said with a beaming smile.

"From Tokyo?"

Kaori's heart leapt in her chest, and she hurriedly went to her room to open it away from the smirk and twinkling eyes of her best friend. Inside the thick kraft paper she found several banknotes, a total sum of 5,000,000 yen (approximately 42,000 €), and a sheet of paper. She put aside the wad of cash and concentrated on the letter. The handwriting was much better than the scrawl she had had with Ryo's address, she supposed he had made an effort. That thought warmed her to the core.

_ Kaori-san,_

_Thank you for your letter. I'm feeling much better now that I know you're okay in Sapporo. Your friend Miki sounds nice, I'm grateful she accepted housing you. _

_I finished my latest mission, and a friend of mine in the police is taking care of some last details in Yokohama. I'll tell you when you can come back to Tokyo. In the meantime, please accept the money, for your friend at least, but mostly for you. It comes from what I gave you that night, and that I keep here for you. By the way, all your belongings are stored in an empty apartment below mine which I own, so don't worry about the cost. I'm happy to do that for you. I took care of the rest from your apartment. _

_Your brother's funeral happened yesterday, it was a calm and simple ceremony. When you're back, I'll drive you to his resting place, if you wish._

_Please take care of you. _

_Saeba Ryo_

Kaori, heart hammering even more, read the letter a dozen times. She couldn't believe her eyes, she couldn't believe these words! It was astounding. Was it really the man who didn't speak more than ten sentences last week at her apartment that wrote this letter? He seemed concerned, caring, protective, the utmost opposite of what he had looked like a mere week ago.

A very large smile on her face, she set aside the letter and changed into her pajamas. Then she buried herself under her quilt and took the letter a last time. _Incredible_, she thought fondly. _He must care a little about me, after all. I'm so happy!_

She put the letter on her nightstand, and in no time she fell asleep, her heart dancing in joy. She was in love, and the man she loved cared a little about her. All was good.

Too good to last.

The following day was a Saturday. Miki and Kaori were working from 9 am to 7 pm on that day, with a one-hour lunch break at 12. Exceptionally, both women were feeling tired, and Miki told Kaori that she had had a nightmare, but not telling her in detail. Kaori had slept well, joyous as she was, but she was still exhausted from the new frantic rhythm of life she had to follow.

In other words, both women reacted late to the chain of events. Near 2 pm three men entered the Sakura Café, wearing black suits and sunglasses. Live yakuza manikins, Kaori thought, feeling immediately ill-at-ease. Next to her Miki, looking up from her cash register, looked tense and on alert.

"Kaori", she hissed under her breath, "get ready to duck."

Bewildered, Kaori looked at the three men again, and she noticed with horror that they had drawn guns, real gut-twisting fear-inducing spray guns, and that they were looking straight back at her. In less than a second, it all happened. Miki yelled "Duck!", she obeyed at once as the yakuza opened fire.

The clients screamed and chaos was unleashed. Bullets ricocheted everywhere, broken bits of glass, plastic and metal were raining from all directions, and Kaori could only cower behind the counter in sheer terror, arms over her head and suppressing a moan. Then incredibly, Miki extracted two things from her blouse: a pistol and what looked like a hand grenade. She was calm and determined, maybe a little bit rattled, but she shouted over the deafening noise "I'll distract them. Get ready to run to the back door! And don't watch when I throw this!"

Kaori then watched in utter amazement and disbelief her friend rising suddenly and shooting three times. The spray guns fell silent. Then she tossed the grenade, and Kaori averted her eyes just in time. It was a flashbang, and some muffled grunts told her the villains weren't expecting something like that.

Then Miki was grabbing her hard by the arm, muttering urgently "We have to leave, now!", and she followed. In the kitchen, Kaori saw the havoc left by panicked employees stampeding outside, and she felt bad for that. The guys were there to kill her, not these people.

Once outside, Miki steered her to the car and they jumped into it. Kaori barely had time to slam the door before Miki started, making the tyres screech. Kaori shot a look though the rear window and saw the men exiting the café, pointing at them in obvious rage.

"Miki..."

"I know, Kaori."

Then behind her the café exploded. The blast made the car swerve violently, but Miki tightened her grip on the wheel and stayed on the road, losing the men. Kaori was hyperventilating and feeling nauseous. There were many clients in the café.

"Miki, the customers...?"

"I don't know, Kaori", the young woman answered as gently as possible. "But when we left, not everyone was outside."

"You mean..." Kaori's voice trailed off in horror, tears welling up in her eyes.

"I think there are some casualties, yes."

Kaori felt a great urge to throw up. Because of her some innocent people died in this café, just because they were at the wrong place at the wrong time. Miki's hand suddenly plunged in front of her, diving into the glove compartment and extracting a flask.

"Here", she said, handing it to Kaori. "Take a large gulp."

Kaori, her mind numb, didn't question this strange order and drank a mouthful. The strong alcohol, whisky by the taste of it, burned her throat and made her cough, eyes watering.

"They're after you, Kaori. Must be some surviving members of the drug cartel Saeba took care of. They must've left before he could kill them."

"In... his letter... he told me there were some men still in Yokohama and a friend of his was taking care of that", she stammered, throat still on fire but able to focus a bit more on the urgency.

"Well, looks like this friend isn't the thorough type", Miki said disdainfully.

"How can you be so calm?" Kaori wondered aloud, staring at her best friend and regaining some composure. "I was paralyzed in fear in the café, but you... you..."

"I'm used to these situations, Kaori", Miki explained patiently. "I was a mercenary for years. Some minor trouble like that don't upset me. But now you're in danger. We have to disappear."

"What do you mean, disappear?" Kaori asked in fear, cold sweat raining down her dorsal spine.

"I mean going into the underworld."

Miki pulled to a stop at the foot of their building, and they ran to the apartment.

"Take some warm clothes, a coat, good shoes, some money and what you don't want to leave behind", Miki ordered her seriously. "You have two minutes."

Kaori dashed into her room and grabbed a duffel bag she had just purchased. She threw into it her most comfortable clothes, her hiking boots, the photo and ring of her brother and Ryo's letter. She also took the 5,000,000 yen plus her wallet, and she shot out of her room, putting her thickest coat on. Miki was ready too, and they ran back to the car.

As soon as Miki drove away, Kaori saw a black sedan car accelerating towards them, with three terribly familiar sneering faces in it. Soon a high-speed chase began, Miki's Prius and the sedan car swerving through the heavy traffic. Kaori couldn't think straight, she was shocked and terrorized, but she had to do something.

"Miki! What can I do?"

"Stay low!"

A rain of bullets shattered the rear window, and Kaori let out a small scream as she sank onto her seat. Miki bent lower but accelerated even more, barrelling down narrower and narrower streets, taking hairpin turns and driving into unknown neighbourhoods. The black sedan was still in hot pursuit, but was steadily falling behind. And finally, with an ear-splitting crash, the sedan crashed into the concrete pillar of a bridge, and the women got away safely at last.

"Phew!"Kaori let out, feeling dizzy. "Are you okay, Miki?"

"I'm okay, Kaori."

The tone of her voice alarmed Kaori who stared at her, but the driving woman wasn't meeting her gaze. Finally she pulled up in a crowded parking lot, and they got out. They grabbed their small luggage, then Miki hurried to a nearby car rental store and soon got a new car. Then they sped away again, Kaori too confused to speak. She was wondering if her friend resented her for endangering her and shattering her life, but Miki was acting normal, if only more seriously than she had ever seen.

Miki drove away, soon leaving Sapporo behind them, and they ended up going through a small village, leaving it behind like manyn others, and at long last they plunged through dense greenery on a faint path. Kaori, who hadn't said a word for the last two hours, didn't feel surprised when they stopped in front of a small house covered in moss. They stepped out of the car, and Miki said evenly "This is my safehouse. We'll stay here for some time."

"Miki..." Kaori started, embarrassed as she followed her friend to the front door. "Look, I... I'm really sorry, I..."

"Don't, Kaori", Miki interrupted her with a small smile while unlocking the door and setting off the alarm. "But we have to talk."

Miki guided her to the bedroom they would have to share, where two twin beds were made. Kaori put her duffel bag on the bed and sank next to it, head in her hands.

"Why, Miki? Why? All these people in the café, you... Why did they have to kill me?"

"Because they killed your brother, and they couldn't lay their hands on you", Miki said gently, sitting next to her and putting a hand on her shaking shoulder. "And because Saeba wiped them out of Tokyo. They want revenge, Kaori. They can't leave witnesses."

"Why did you do all this, Miki? Wouldn't it be better if they kill me once and for good? I cause too many problems!"

Kaori cracked up then. She sobbed in her hands, not believing that people could harm others like that, even kill them, just for revenge or pride. Miki sighed and tightened her grip on the young woman's shoulder.

"Kaori, during the trip I thought about what I would say to you, but there's no easy way to say it. Will you listen carefully to me?"

"Of course, Miki. I owe you my life."

Kaori raised her head and wiped away her tears. It was the least she could do for the friend who had risked and lost everything to protect her. So she braced herself.

"The thing is", Miki said uneasily, "Kaori, you're a target for this drug cartel. The remaining members won't leave you alone, ever. The only way for you to be free is to fight back."

"How?" Kaori asked in despair. "I'm not like you, Miki. I cannot defend myself. I'm not used to these situations like you are, or Ryo."

Mentioning Ryo's name, and the fact that she thought constantly about him, made her wince in pain. He would be really worried when he would hear about the racket at the Sakura Café, and when he would hear that she vanished completely. Some more tears fell without her noticing, but this time she talked with a firm voice.

"What can I do, Miki?"

Her best friend locked eyes with her and said very seriously "You have a decision to make."

"What decision?"

"Hunter or prey. Either you go to the police, under their protection, and you trust them to arrest the drug cartel members, wait for their trial and spend many years waiting, and... you never see me or Saeba anymore..."

Kaori felt her heart hurt as if squeezed by a giant frozen hand. That was out of option. She couldn't live without Ryo in her life one way or another, not anymore. He couldn't be approached by the police, she knew it, or he'd be arrested and sentenced to jail. And she didn't trust the police with her problem. Too many greased palms, too many criminals slipping through the bars. It wouldn't solve anything.

"Or?" she asked fast.

"Or you become one of us."

"What? What do you mean? A mercenary?"

"No", Miki shook her head, eyes filled with sympathy. "Not a mercenary, we're not in a civil war. No, become a sweeper."

"A sweeper. Like Ryo."

"Yes. Like Falcon. Like me if Falcon lets me. Like your brother."

Kaori let that sink in. The choice wasn't so easy. It was a choice between a normal life but with an endless threat over her head, or an underground life, far from any official existence, risking her life every day and every night. But in the end, the only choice she had...

"Think about it", Miki said, rising to her feet. "We'll..."

"No, Miki", Kaori interrupted her calmly but firmly. "My decision is made."

Miki appraised her for quite a long time, then the shadow of a smile played on her lips as she spoke once more.

"I hope one day soon he'll know how much you love him."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4:**** Umibozu**

Ryo wasn't home when he heard the news. One of his oldest informants, Shabby Takei, told him that Umibozu was frantically searching for him throughout Shinjuku. So he spread the news that he would go at the Kabuki-cho maiden club at 7 pm, just to destabilize the giant sweeper. His rival was a real colossus, but he was desperately shy and ill-at-ease with women, contrary to him.

Thinking about the good laugh he would soon have, he went home to have a shower and change clothes. It was a little before 6 pm, but he had time. He had spent the day gathering info on the Teope Union and their branch in Yokohama, but from what he heard all the bad guys were either dead or in police custody. That suited him fine, but he felt uneasy. His sixth sense was on high alert, something he didn't like at all.

He was just stepping out of the shower when his phone rang. He hurried to pick it up. Very few people had his number, and someone calling him wasn't a good omen. Or maybe... maybe it was Kaori?

"Moshi-moshi?"

"Ryo!" Saeko's voice filled the receiver, sounding relieved and extremely tense. "Thank God you're home at last! I've tried to reach you since 3 pm!"

"What's wrong, Saeko?" he asked seriously, hearing the young woman's distress.

"There's been an explosion in Sapporo, in a café. We..."

"Is Kaori okay?" he cut her abruptly, fear gripping his guts and heart stuttering dangerously.

He rested his hand on the wall, feeling dizzy all of a sudden. If anything had happened to his angel...

"We don't know, Ryo", Saeko said in despair. "Three men attacked the café, according to witnesses, and were targeting Kaori and her friend. They fled. Their car was found near a car rental store, destroyed by bullets, and the apartment was obviously left in a hurry. The three guys are dead. They collided with a bridge pillar. The pillar won, the idiots weren't wearing their seat belts."

"So you're telling me that Kaori and her friend Miki have vanished into thin air?" he asked with a constricted voice.

"Yes. We're searching for them, but we found nothing until now. Ryo, I'm..."

"Thanks for the update, Saeko", he said with a growl, ready to hang up. "I have work to do. I'll keep in touch."

"Ryo, wait! Kaori's friend, Miki..."

"Do you have intel on her?"

"Very little, and that's speaking volumes in itself. We don't know her real surname, she goes with Takada as it's the name of the couple who adopted her when she arrived in Japan at age 14, six years ago. She settled in Tokyo and went to the same high school as Kaori. But before that, we don't know. She came from Bolivia, that's all I can tell you. Now she's studying agricultural management in Sapporo and works... used to work at the Sakura Café, the one which blew up four hours ago."

Ryo stayed silent for a few seconds, thinking hard. He could fill the blanks, at least he had strong suspicions. No surname, no family, from Bolivia, smell of gunpowder.

"She's one of us, Saeko."

"What do you mean?" she asked, puzzled.

"She's like me. From a civil war. She's a mercenary."

"Are you sure? Ryo, she's a woman, and..."

"So what? Do you think all mercs are male? Of course not. Many women fight like men, and some of them even better. Women fight with their brains, not their physical strength, and that makes them much more dangerous. I don't have to explain it to you too much, Saeko, you know what I mean."

"Yes, I do", she said after a pause. "But, Ryo, if she's a..."

"Then she went underground. And we won't hear from her again unless she steps out in daylight."

"What about Kaori, then?"

Ryo's unease grew by the minute. He had sent Kaori away to avoid precisely that: she falling into his unofficial world, the underworld. And he failed. He failed immensely. She was in even more danger than before. But now she was away from him, away from his protection, and he had to trust some female mercenary he had never heard of before to take care of her. He failed her.

"We wait and see", he answered at last with a heavy sigh. "We have no choice."

"Ryo..."

"Believe me, Saeko, I know. I made a terrible mistake, and I'm the only one to blame. I never should've let her leave my sight."

"You did it for the best reasons", she said kindly.

"Maybe so, but what is happening now is all my fault. If anything happens to her..."

"Nothing will happen, Ryo", she said firmly. "Have faith in her."

"I do, Saeko", he murmured. "I do."

He hung up, feeling very bad. All this situation because he had been a coward a week ago... Suddenly rage engulfed him. Self-loathing, anger, torment, worry, but most of all desperate love erupted from deep inside his whole being, and he gave in. He, the cold-blooded sweeper, always master of his emotions, snapped, and he gave his fury a free rein.

When he regained some consciousness of his surroundings, the living room was torn apart. Furniture in splinters, upturned couch, lopsided hangings, stuffing from the cushions spilled everywhere, erotic magazines ripped in pieces. And hands covered in blood, he noticed.

Swearing, he went back to the bathroom and nursed his knuckles, then got dressed as fast as possible. He left the apartment, the mess he had made would wait. He had a rival to meet.

When entering the club, he felt a little bit better at seeing Umibozu, looking extremely ill-at-ease and tomato red, sitting on the edge of a chair in the farthest corner of the room, chair bending dangerously under his weight. His spirit lifted an inch, and he approached the giant with a faint smile on his lips. The latter turned his head towards him when he entered, and Ryo supposed he was looking at him from behind his large sunglasses.

Three seconds later he took a seat opposite his rival, and almost immediately a young maid, half-naked and looking flirtatious, came to their table.

"Ryo-chan, how good to see you! What will you have?"

"Mayuko-chan! It's a pleasure, as always. I'll have a bottle of whisky with one glass."

"Only one?" she asked in surprise. "What about your charming friend?"

Umibozu turned beetle red and smoke erupted from his bald head as the waitress caressed him on his arm. Smirking, Ryo insisted "Just one glass, Mayuko-chan."

"Okay."

The waitress left, Ryo following her with his eyes, but not finding her attractive anymore. He had another person in mind, other curves in front of his retinas, other eyes making his blood racing in his veins and his heart drumming.

He turned back his gaze towards Umibozu, who had regained some composure and was clearly staring at him, arms crossed, in a hostile demeanour. Ryo said nothing and remained impassive. He knew the rules. They had to drink first.

When Mayuko came back, she poured some whisky in the glass and set it and the bottle on the table. Ryo took the glass, and after a second Umibozu grabbed the bottle. They both drained their things, under the amazed look of Mayuko, and waited for her to go away. Finally the giant spoke.

"Always the same, Saeba. Why do you put yourself into shame by going to these places, I'll never understand."

"As you can't know because you're such a prude, there's intel one can gather only by coming in such places. Therefore I can combine business with pleasure."

"Humpf. Doesn't surprise me from the Shinjuku stallion."

"Umi-chan, don't start on me. I have a wide range of cute little names in store for you, if you want."

"Shut up, you useless leech! I have something serious to tell you."

Ryo fell silent. He was waiting for the giant to get to the point. And he could sense that what he would hear wouldn't be to his taste. Umibozu was a rival, a honest and loyal one, but they never got along well, thanks to the bad history between them. However they had worked together in the past, and he was a good co-worker. So he decided to listen to him, out of respect.

"By all means, speak, Umi-chan."

Umibozu uncrossed his arms, set his huge fists on the table, and leaned forward. If Ryo were any ordinary man, he would cower in fear. However he was City Hunter, nothing made him fear anything. Well, almost nothing. Now he felt fear for someone close to his heart.

"I suppose you have learned about the attack in Sapporo."

Ryo nodded, wondering how it was Umibozu's concern.

"Two young women were targeted, and disappeared."

"Yes", Ryo confirmed calmly. "But that is my concern. I don't see..."

"The woman with Makimura's sister is under _my_ protection! It is my concern too!"

Ryo sat back on his chair, while Umibozu reddened some more. He had to think. If this giant oaf was involved anywhere in this mess, it could be a double-edged sword. Umibozu was reliable, and his informants trustworthy, like his. But if he got on his bad side, even more than he already was, then he was done for and he knew it. He leaned forward again, his face a mask while inside he was boiling.

"Tell me."

"No."

"Umibozu, you want to protect this Miki, and I want to protect Kaori. They disappeared together, and I happen to know the two of them are best friends. We have to cooperate on this."

"Ha! And whose fault is this?" Falcon said with a sneer. "Yours, Saeba. All yours! You bit more than you could chew alone, with the Teope Union. And now here's the result."

Ryo felt his patience growing thin. He didn't need a lecture, he needed answers. So he slammed his fist on the table, losing his cool for the first time in front of the giant who stared at him with his mouth half-open in surprise.

"Shut your mouth, octopus head! I did what I had to do, all alone as you said because you know I couldn't ask anyone to help me, you even less! My partner's dead, for heaven's sake! Killed by these bastards! And Kaori is targeted as well! How do you think I live with this? They can kill me, such is the game, but she's innocent! So shut up!"

He took a deep breath to calm down, and asked nastily "What about Miki, then? She's a mercenary, I'd bet anything. So why is she away from you if you want to protect her?"

Umibozu paled a little, but he couldn't reply as the waitress came to investigate the source of the racket.

"Is everything okay, Ryo-chan?"

"Yes, don't worry, Mayuko-chan. Please bring me another bottle of whisky."

She left, looking reassured, and the two men glared at each other until she came back. They had another shot, and Ryo knew that the giant would have to talk. He had his hands tied, just like him, but by working together they could do something. At least he hoped so.

Finally Umibozu heaved a sigh, and Ryo knew he had given in, for now.

"I raised Miki in South America during the war. She was an orphan, all alone with nowhere to go. I couldn't let her die. So I taught her everything I knew."

"Including handling weapons and military training, I suppose", Ryo assumed.

"Yes", Falcon nodded, seemingly lost in his thoughts. "She was a good mercenary. And one day I realized what I had done. I had turned a pure young girl into a war machine. She killed enemies. She maimed them. And she wasn't even fifteen. So I sent her away, to Japan. I told her to have a normal life. I arranged her stay in a foster family. I never saw her again."

"But now she's on the run, back into business because of Kaori. Because of me."

"Yes. You cannot begin to know how much I hate you for that, Saeba."

"Because I made her defend herself when you weren't there for her?" Ryo asked aggressively.

He was frustrated by the conversation. He saw himself in Umibozu's cowardice, and that was a huge blow. But he had to change, and Falcon likewise.

"Saeba, don't..." Umibozu started, his voice rising.

But Ryo cut him. He was really fed up now, because it dawned on him that both Falcon and he had been acting selfishly. They had decided what was best for the young women, not even asking them what they felt about that, not leaving them any choice. And it had proven a huge mistake, and they would have hell to pay for that.

"Don't you realize that we're wrong, Umi? We're fools, both of us! I sent Kaori away because I thought I would be the only one in danger, then. And you decided for Miki, not asking her what she wanted. How does she feel with this, you sending her away like that? Have you even wondered about that, even once in your life?"

"Every single stinking day, you worthless fucker! Every day I think about her, I think about her life away from me, away from the time we had together, hating myself for making her suffer! She's in all my thoughts, all my dreams, all my nightmares! She's away from me and it's slowly killing me!"

Ryo watched as Falcon, realizing he had talked too much, sat back heavily, making the chair creak under him. But he could relate. He felt the same, exactly the same. Except that he was feeling that way since a week ago. Falcon was feeling that way since six years ago. Quite a long time.

_We love them, Umi, it's as simple as that_, Ryo thought. _And we can't admit it to ourselves, even less to them. We sent them away to protect them because we love them. But now, they're both in danger._

"And now she disappeared and that's your fault!" Falcon insisted heatedly.

Ryo shrugged, unconcerned.

"Now's not the time to settle our differences. When we find them, then we'll see."

"Count on it. This time, Saeba, we'll settle the score."

Ryo nodded. He knew that Umibozu held a grudge against him, even if he hadn't wanted to do what he did to him and his comrades, but the past was in the past. Now only the present mattered. They would duel once this mission was over.

"Okay for me. Now what?"

Umibozu thought about it, and Ryo waited patiently. He didn't know Miki at all, unlike the giant who might know how to find her, and with her Kaori.

"If I guess right", Falcon said at last, "she won't come out into the open for a while. She'll wait to check if the coast is clear. And that means that we have to wait."

"Don't you have an idea where we could find her?"

Falcon shook his head dejectedly.

"She's smart, Saeba. Very smart, much more than me. If she doesn't want to be found, even you won't be able to. And I suspect that she never really quit the underworld. My informants in Sapporo weren't a hundred percent positive, because she's sneaky, but some people ended up dead or in custody although no sweeper that we know of intervened. She'll be able to protect Kaori, you can trust her."

"Against the Teope Union?" Ryo asked morosely.

"Even against them", Umibozu assured him. "And in the meantime..."

"Yeah. I don't like to wait doing nothing. Could as well sweep some more."

"First intelligent thing you've said all day. My bazooka is getting rusty."

Ryo smiled. He could always count on Falcon when a good fight was looming.

"Okay, Umi-chan. I have info to gather, and so do you. Meet in two hours here?"

"In two hours, but not here. On the docks, warehouse 15."

"So shy, octopus head!" the sweeper jested, smacking the sitting giant on the head. "Okay, don't be late!"

He made a run for it before he could receive the empty whisky bottle upon his skull, feeling much better than an hour ago. He would soon find his angel, and to greet her warmly he would clean his city from the drug dealers. A good program.

* * *

The training was harsh. Kaori was on her knees every evening, and slept soundly. But Miki woke her up at night to train in the darkness, to get her accustomed to not seeing a thing and rely on her other senses. So she ran, she shot with the revolver Miki gave her, she lifted weights, she played hide-and-seek to hide her aura, she shot and shot again. She was training to become a sweeper.

Miki had asked her five times if that what was she really wanted, and each time she said yes.

"You have to understand, Kaori", Miki had said sternly the last time, "that if you become like me there will be no turning back. You will lose any chance at having a normal life. A husband, children, a nice house and a decent work. In the underworld, only blood, pain, insecurity and eventually death are awaiting you. Are you sure that's what you want?"

And Kaori had thought about it. The choice was painstakingly difficult. But in the end, only her love for Ryo mattered. She loved him so much that she felt like her heart was sliced opened with raw sizzling edges since she flew away from him. She missed him so much it hurt, like she couldn't breathe properly. But she knew that with the training Miki was giving her, she would be able to defend herself, and maybe become Ryo's partner in place of her brother.

She had asked Miki to write a letter to Ryo, to let him know that she was okay, but Miki had adamantly refused.

"For all we know, Kaori", she explained kindly, "it's with your letter that the Teope Union found us. We can't risk to be attacked anymore. You're not ready yet. I'm sorry."

Kaori had nodded, heart sinking. She had trained even harder that day, but when she buried herself in her futon, she had shed some sad tears.

And like that, six months had passed. Now Kaori was hitting bullseyes each time she shot with her Smith and Wesson, she was strong and lithe and silent as a panther. And at last one morning she heard the words she had been waiting for.

"You're ready, Kaori", Miki told her with a wistful look." I have nothing more to teach you. Welcome to the underworld."

Kaori hugged her best friend, happy that the penance time was over. Now they could go back to Tokyo, to find Ryo and Umibozu. So they packed their things and left their shelter. In a way, Kaori would miss the quiet of the woods and the greenery, but she was a woman from Tokyo, she couldn't live away from her large city with its skyscrapers, its traffic jams, its shops, and the bustling people going on doing their business like ants on a dirt hill. And most of all, she couldn't wait to see Ryo again.

They traveled by train, and thanks to the Shinkansen's high speed, they arrived in Tokyo as the sun was setting. Miki booked a hotel room for the two of them, and they ate in a quiet restaurant nearby. Kaori was aware that Miki was acting cautiously, and she was on the lookout too, but nobody seemed to notice them. After six months, she guessed that the informants of Ryo or Umibozu were less on the edge for finding them.

The night was restless for both women. Kaori knew Miki was nervous, as she wanted to see the man she loved and that she hadn't seen for six years. But she herself wasn't better, jittery as she was to see if Ryo had missed her as much as she had missed him.

Breakfast was eaten fast, and they departed. Miki had ways to learn things Kaori had never dreamed of, with bribes, turning on the charm, even menaces sometimes with obtuse men. But they learned at last that the Teope Union hadn't been heard of since five months ago, thanks to City Hunter and Umibozu's joint work, and that Umibozu was supposed to do some work in an abandoned area near the docks.

So they went there, and Kaori felt it immediately, as soon as she stepped out of the rented car. A strong murderous aura, vivid in the cool air of the fading day, obviously busy sweeping the warehouse in front of them. Some muffled explosions could be heard, some gunshots too, but soon silence fell.

Next to her Miki tensed. Kaori felt the aura approaching them hurriedly, and she braced herself. The coming man wasn't completely hostile, but he wasn't peaceful either. She lay a hand on the Smith and Wesson she was holding in the holster of her belt, and waited. And three seconds later, she blinked several times, not believing her eyes.

A giant of a man was standing just outside the door of the warehouse, wearing sunglasses hiding his gaze and holding a bazooka like it was a baseball bat. He was bald, was covered in gunpowder and blood, and seemed thunderstruck. Kaori couldn't help but wonder how her friend had fallen in love with such a man, but then he spoke, just one word, and she understood everything.

"Miki."

It was such a tender word, said with disbelief, care, surprise, and love too, she could have sworn it. And next to her, Miki dissolved into tears. She whispered "Falcon!" and then ran into his arms. He quickly set the bazooka on the ground before grabbing her and embracing her in his huge arms. At that instant, Kaori felt that she never had seen a couple so well assorted before. _Sweepers, so what?_ she thought. _They too deserve happiness._

And while she watched away from the hugging couple, her gaze lingering on the dark waters churning next to the quays, she felt a pang of envy. She didn't know what would be Ryo's reaction to her comeback. She was only his late partner's sister, after all. And he never let her know she could be anything else. His letter was warm, but that was it. Only hope was fueling her.

After a moment, she paid attention as Miki asked her beloved some questions, and came closer to hear Umibozu's answers.

"I haven't seen Ryo since two months ago. He was quite down the hill."

"What do you mean?" Kaori couldn't help but ask.

She blushed as Falcon turned his attention towards her, and Miki introduced her with a radiant smile.

"Falcon, meet my best friend Kaori Makimura. Kaori, meet the love of my life, Hayato Ijuin, also named Falcon."

Umibozu blushed violently and smoke erupted from his shining head, but he nodded shyly at Kaori who bowed respectfully.

"A pleasure, Falcon-san. But what were you saying about Saeba-san, please?"

"I was saying that Ryo is down the hill since some time now. Since we finished the job with the Teope Union, to be specific."

"You did a great job, apparently, according to the informants I saw today", Miki said softly, looking better than Kaori had ever seen her.

"Yes", Falcon nodded. "But since then Ryo has been erratic. He's drunk most of the time, doesn't work as City Hunter anymore. He..."

Umibozu's voice trailed off, and Kaori knew that was because he saw her distress. But she had to know. She had to help him. She would do anything.

"Yes?"

"I'd say he lost the will to live", Falcon said grimly.

Kaori felt like a giant hammer had fallen onto her head. She never would've thought anything like that. Ryo Saeba, the great City Hunter, the man her brother admired so much, lose the will to live? It was impossible, incomprehensible.

"But why?" Kaori insisted.

Umibozu looked suddenly ill-at-ease. He let go of Miki who looked apprehensive, and turn to face Kaori fully.

"It's because he heard one nasty rumour three months ago. One that was pretending you were dead, Kaori-san."

"What?"

Kaori was appalled. Because of some stupid rumour about her, Ryo was feeling so bad? But why? Could he...?

"Please, Falcon-san, explain yourself! Why did he believe this rumour? And why is he so bad since then?"

"I can't explain everything. I know that some would-be rival of Ryo started to spread the rumour that you had been killed to destabilize him, but I knew it wasn't true. I found the rascal who started it and made him pay. I believe he's out of hospital since a few days ago. Problem is, Ryo believed it immediately, and nothing I could say would convince him otherwise."

"I don't understand", Kaori muttered, feeling utterly lost. "But I have to see him!" she suddenly shouted. "When he sees me, he'll know that..."

"Tough luck to find him", Umibozu cut her gently. He deserted his apartment, and apparently doesn't want to be found. I'd say he's slowly sinking into alcohol and becoming depressed, and some jerks want to seize the opportunity to kill him and become number one in his place."

"What?" Kaori asked again, feeling tears running down her cheeks.

She could see Miki's sympathetic gaze, and could only guess Umibozu's one, but she couldn't fall to pieces now. She had to find him. She had to save him.

"He has been attacked several times already, from what I've heard."

"Where can I find him?"

Umibozu sighed. "In Kabuki-cho, I think."

"Then please drive me."

* * *

**A/N:**** Hope you like the turn of events ;) Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5:**** No turning back**

The trip was a silent and tense one. Kaori was lost in her thoughts, worry clawing at her lungs. But she had one purpose: make the man she loved more than her life stay alive, and have a chance to tell him one day how she felt about him. But that was a long shot. First things first, she thought.

Falcon parked his jeep near a street full of bars and night clubs, and soon was asking around about Ryo. Miki and Kaori were peering inside every place they could see, but to no avail. Kaori didn't care that she was among almost nude girls and drunk men, she was too anxious to find Ryo before anything bad could happen.

They searched for three hours with no results, and finally someone told Umibozu something.

"Saeba? Yes, I saw him, not an hour ago. He was drinking all he could pay for in the Bunny Place nightclub. Never seen him so drunk before."

Falcon gave the man a bank note, and they quickened their pace towards the place. When she saw it, she asked Falcon and Miki to wait outside for her, and the two of them agreed. She entered, ignoring the lecherous stares of the men around her and the jealous ones of the women, and looked around her, heart beating fast in her chest.

And after what felt like an eternity, she saw him. He was obviously in the middle of a fight, because the guy he was holding up, almost choking him, wasn't looking great right now. She ran to him, but before she could make five metres into the night club she saw Ryo, still holding the guy, exit through the back door which slammed behind him.

She hurriedly followed, but opened the door with caution. She didn't want to startle him. He was a sweeper, he held a Colt Python 357 Magnum all the time, and she didn't want to be shot by accident. She peered outside and saw the two men ten metres away, having a huge argument. Or rather, she thought as she exited the club too, silently closing the door behind her, Ryo was yelling and the guy was trying to answer with a vise lock around his neck.

She listened closely as she watched Ryo carefully, taking in his drunk appearance, the bags under his sunken eyes, his hollow cheeks, his scruffy clothes, his slumped shoulders. He was really down, Umibozu was right. And as she listened, she felt a strong emotion tightening her chest.

"Now you're going to answer me, Hikaru!" Ryo roared. "Umibozu told me you've been lying! Answer me now, and tell me the truth!"

"Sa... Saeba... I..."

The man couldn't continue as Ryo's fist collided with his jaw. He flew two metres in the air before crashing heavily on the ground, farther away from Kaori who, shocked and rooted to the spot, couldn't move a muscle. But apparently Ryo wasn't done. He stumbled to the man, lifted him with one arm, and used his free hand to punch the lights out of him.

Kaori could only watch in dismay as Ryo used the guy as a punchbag, until he stopped and asked his bleeding and heavily bruised prey "So, Hikaru? Found your memory back?"

"She... she's not dead..."

Ryo let the man fall on the ground in a heap, and leaned heavily on the wall next to him.

"Kaori's alive!"

The amazement and relief she could hear in his voice brought tears in her eyes. He had been really affected by her death's news, then. He really cared for her.

But then the atmosphere abruptly changed. She felt a chill running down her spine as the most powerful murderous aura she had ever felt hit her hard, and she couldn't help the shiver and the step back. Ryo was more menacing than ever, his face the mask of an angel, a dark, very dangerous one, like Death itself. She cringed at the man's fate. And of course...

"Why did you lie, then, Hikaru?"

The man cowered at the sweeper's feet, emitting moans and feeble excuses, but Ryo clearly wasn't satisfied. He grabbed the guy by the neck again and lifted him, strangling him. He yelled again "Why did you lie to me, Hikaru? Why pretend Kaori was dead?"

"I... I'm sorry... I..."

"Liar."

Ryo tightened his grip, and the man turned quite blue. Kaori wasn't feeling well at this sight, but she couldn't intervene. It was Ryo's call. And by some miracle, he hadn't detected her presence yet, probably because of all the alcohol he had drained. He was obviously a walking and talking sponge right now. In fact, it was a wonder he could still talk and beat the man up.

"One more try, Hikaru", he said menacingly. "After that, I'll squeeze real tight, and you won't see the coming daylight."

"O... Okay... To... destabilize... you... to beat you..."

Ryo loosened his grip again, and the man fell for the second time. The sweeper glared hard at him, and kicked him in the gut. The guy moaned in pain, holding his ribs.

"That's for having lied to me, Hikaru. But I'm feeling generous. I won't waste a bullet for you. Consider yourself lucky. Now leave. I don't want to hear you're still in Tokyo when the sun rises. Otherwise I'll track you down. Understood?"

"Ye...Yes, Saeba..."

Ryo then turned around, and stumbled some more towards a frozen Kaori. She could see the ease on his tight features, but he was still in a very bad shape. Her heart melted. She was a few feet away from him, seconds from being next to him, but how would he react? What would she tell him? Would she ask for forgiveness? Would he do the same?

At that instant the sweeper raised his head and looked straight at her, obviously ready to fight again. But when he saw her, his expression changed completely. Disbelief, joy, huge relief, she saw all of these. And another expression, one she couldn't place, but that made her heart hammering in her chest some more.

"Kaori?" he whispered, clearly not trusting his eyes in his alcohol haze.

"Ryo", she whispered back.

"My angel", he said, amazing her even more. "Are you really there? Or am I dreaming?"

And she couldn't hold it any longer. She had missed him so much, she had longed for his reassuring presence, for his dark eyes, for the hope of seeing a smile on his face. She ran to him, colliding with his broad, warm chest, and wept in his T-shirt, gripping hard his jacket. And to her delight, after two seconds he put his arms around her in a soft embrace, and felt his lips on her hair.

"Kaori. You came back."

"Yes, I'm sorry, Ryo. I..."

"Shhh, please don't say anything now. Let me enjoy this moment. I thought you were dead, Kaori. But you're alive, you're warm, and you're here, in my arms. Please give me this moment."

She obeyed and put her arms around his waist, burying her face deeper into his chest. She couldn't stop the tears, though, tears of relief, of tension alleviating, of joy at being exactly where she wanted to be: in the strong arms of the man she loved.

After a few minutes in this soft safe bubble, the noises of the busy street twenty metres away reached her again, and a noise much closer. The click of a gun's hammer. Her blood froze in her veins, but she reacted fast. She extracted the revolver in her belt and aimed at Hikaru who was holding a pistol and aiming at them, but Ryo acted a split second before she could.

In a blur, he made her spin, she facing the guy and he shielding her. As her startled eyes met his, dark and beautiful and full of this unknown emotion, she felt him flinch just as she heard the gunshot. She didn't think twice. He was hurt, she didn't know how badly. But he had taken the bullet to protect her. She would make the guy pay.

She aimed in a microsecond and fired. The guy dropped his gun and fell face first to the ground, a bullet between his eyes. She killed him.

And then realization hit her. For the first time in her life, she had killed a living being. She had killed a man. She had ended a life.

But this traumatizing thought was secondary right now. Ryo was hurt. She looked back at him. He looked sad, on the verge of tears even. She felt bad, very bad. She wanted to throw up, but he needed her.

"Ryo", she said urgently as he fell to his knees at her feet and she caught him. "Where does it hurt?"

"In... my left shoulder..." he murmured with difficulty. "Kaori..."

"Don't speak, Ryo", she cut him as she helped him lie on his right side. "Save your energy. I'll look at your wound."

Still holding him, she examined his back as footsteps could be heard louder and louder. She knew Miki and Umibozu had heard the gunshots and were coming to help, so she concentrated on Ryo. And she didn't like what she was seeing.

The sweeper had an ugly wound on his back, much closer to his heart than Kaori would've liked, and the blood stain on his T-shirt was very large already. She took out her jacket and pressed it on the wound, while murmuring encouraging words.

"It's okay, Ryo. Stay with me. Help is on the way."

"Kaori..."

The young man's voice was very faint now, and Kaori felt a wave of despair nearly breaking through her defences. But she had to stay strong and cool-headed, for Ryo. He needed her.

"Kaori!"

"Here, Miki! Hurry! Ryo's wounded!"

Three seconds later Umibozu and Miki were next to her, and her best friend asked "What happened?"

"Ryo found out that this guy, Hikaru, had been lying about me being dead", she explained in a rush as the giant held Ryo, freeing her arm and allowing her to press harder on his bleeding wound. "So he beat him up, and then we..."

"And what happened next?"

"The... the man... he... he shot... Ryo shielded me... And I... I killed him..."

Her voice quivered, and she felt the breakdown coming. She virtually slapped herself. _Not now!_ she shouted at herself inside her head. _Think only about Ryo!_

"Ryo, do you hear me?" Falcon asked gently.

"Umi..." Ryo murmured feebly. "Kaori..."

"She's here, right next to you. Ryo, you have to go to hospital."

"No."

"We don't have any choice. You're too badly wounded. If you don't go, you'll die."

"No. The professor..."

"Who? Which professor?" Miki asked, puzzled.

But Kaori saw that Umibozu knew. He said "Miki, please bring the jeep back here. Hurry."

She nodded and grabbed the keys inside the giant's pocket. The latter blushed furiously, but Kaori was focused on Ryo. He was very pale now, and she could see his strength fading away.

"Ryo, stay awake!" she ordered him, tears welling up in her eyes. "Talk to me!"

"Kaori... I'm... so sorry... for... everything..."

"Don't be. Please don't be sorry. Now I'm here, and the past is in the past. Hold on, Ryo!"

"Kaori..."

His voice died down, and his head slumped on the ground. She panicked.

"Ryo?! Stay with me! Ryo!"

"He lost consciousness", Falcon told her with the same gentle tone. "Don't worry, Kaori, he's strong. He won't die just yet."

But it was too much. Ryo's life was at stake, and she had just killed a man. Shock engulfed her. Everything spun violently around her, and she vaguely heard Falcon's voice, but she couldn't respond.

"Kaori? Are you all right?"

And everything went black.

* * *

Pain, blindness, no control over any part of his body. That was what Ryo was experiencing, and it wasn't cool at all. He remembered being shot, he remembered Kaori next to him, he remembered Kaori in his arms, making him the happiest man in the universe. But he also remembered her shooting with a revolver, he remembered her killing the bastard.

_Kaori_, he thought in his numb reality. _You became just like me. A murderer. I never wanted this for you. You didn't have to lose your purity and your innocence for me. I'm not worth it. I can't forgive myself for that. _

He could hear some noises around him, faint beeping things, some urgent voices, but what they said didn't make any sense.

_Kaori, a guy like me doesn't deserve you. You'd be better off without me. You don't need me. Miki and Umibozu will protect you, better than I could. I'd better leave you now. _

The beeps became louder, and the voices more panicked. But suddenly he heard a loud voice, right next to his ear, shouting as if to wake him up all the way to hell.

"Saeba! Don't give up now! Kaori needs you! She's slowly dying because you are! If you die she'll die too! You can't let that happen! She deserves to live! And she needs you! So fight! Come back now!"

He didn't know that voice, but he supposed it was Miki's. She sounded really anguished. Was it true? Was Kaori dying because of him? But he wanted her to live! He wanted to die so she could leave in peace, without the remorse of having killed a guy to save his sorry worthless self. That wasn't the plan!

"Saeba! Come back now! City Hunter cannot die like that, without ending his mission! You have a mission, City Hunter! You have to protect your partner's sister! So fight, Saeba! Kaori needs you!"

_Kaori needs me_, he thought numbly. _She needs... me? But what can I give her? I gave her my life. What more can I do?_

"He's arresting", he heard a male voice say. "Get away from him, Miki!"

It was the Professor. How could he deceive him by dying? But he was so tired. So tired...

"Saeba!" Miki was shrieking furiously now. "If she dies because of you, hell won't be as bad as when I come to torment you when my time comes! Fight, you coward! Fight!"

Pain erupted from his chest throughout all his body. The professor was using paddles on him, it seemed. He wanted it to end. He didn't want any more pain. He would see Maki. Maki... But what would he tell him? _Hey, Maki! Sorry, I love your sister but I couldn't protect her, and now I left her all alone. Hope you don't resent me too much!_

And that thought made him angry and ashamed of himself. He had no right to abandon her now. Her life had been threatened because of him. She lost her brother because of him. She lost her innocence because of him. He owed her much, much more than his life. He owed her everything, his whole being. So, if she needed him, then he would be there for her. Always.

He felt the paddles again, but this time, his heart answered. He felt it beating again, stuttering at first, then beating his strong, usual beat. Around him he heard sighs of relief, then the voice of the professor.

"He'll be okay now. Please go tell Kaori, Miki."

"Of course, Professor."

Kaori was there too, then. Miki had said she was slowly dying, but now that he lived, she would surely live? Thoughts rumbled in his head, making it spinning, and he fell back unconscious again.

Next time he came around, his senses were still blurred. He could hear well, only silence for now. He could smell well, a disgusting bleach perfume. He couldn't see as his eyes were too heavy and nothing he did could make them open. He couldn't touch as his muscles didn't respond to his orders. He couldn't taste anything, his mouth was shut tight. But at least he didn't have the horrible thing in his throat anymore, the one he had felt when his heart took a brief vacation.

So, powerless and locked inside his own body, he let his thoughts wandering. He thought only of her, of his angel. How was she? Did she survive? How did she react at seeing him like this? Did she come to see him? Was she curled up on a bed somewhere, too depressed to come? Was she too shocked?

He recalled his memories of the fight. He had been drinking alone, like he had done during two endless months, trying to drown his sorrow in alcohol. Useless, as usual. He had been trying to believe Umibozu's words, believe that she was still alive. But his heart had died of despair.

So when he saw Hikaru, the man who had told him Kaori had died, he saw red and asked him if he had been lying. And the scoundrel admitted he had lied! For two months Ryo had been a walking ghost, carrying his grief like he was inside his own personal hell at all times, crying and moaning and regretting and drinking. He was a wreck.

He had been attacked, of course. Some mobsters had tried to get rid of him, taking the opportunity to strike him down, weakened as he was. But luck had been with him. That, or a strong and unconscious will to live, stronger than he thought. And now he was happy to be still alive. He had to take care of Kaori. She needed him.

He felt a soft draught on his cheeks as he heard a door being carefully opened. And he felt her presence. A strong and pure aura, purest and gentlest than any he had ever felt. He smelled her, this singular smell he had discovered when she was in his arms, in the best moment of his entire life. A combination of rose, gunpowder, body wash and that fragrance that was only hers.

It was overpowering his senses, making him long for her. He wanted to move, to open his eyes, to call out for her. But nothing happened. He felt rage at his helplessness as she took a seat right next to his bed. He wanted to feel her soft skin on his, her small hand in his, he wanted to hug her against him so much!

But she said nothing. She did nothing. She only stayed there, next to him, not making any sound. And he felt her despair. She was waiting for him. She needed him. And he wasn't there for her.

"Kaori."

He recognized the voice, and the heels on the linoleum. So Saeko had introduced herself to her fiancé's sister, it seemed. He could only listen in dismay to her kind words.

"Kaori, I know you won't talk to anyone just yet. But perhaps you could talk to Ryo. Maybe he can hear you. It would be good to let him know you're waiting for him to wake up."

Silence. Ryo could hear Kaori's suppressed sobs, her ragged breath, her fists rubbing the fabric of her trousers. He was sick at his helplessness. He wanted to scream in frustration, but he couldn't utter a sound. Then Saeko sighed.

"It's all right, Kaori. Do you want to go for a walk?"

Silence answered the police officer. She said softly "I'll leave you, then. Take your time. And when you're ready, you can come see the Professor."

Ryo heard Saeko leave. He still couldn't do anything, and he almost went mad. But he forced himself to focus. Kaori needed him. So he concentrated on one point of his body: his right thumb. He wanted to make it move, to tell the young woman next to him that he was there for her, that he could hear her, and that he would do everything in his power to wake up for her.

He focused again and again, but nothing. His thumb didn't move a fraction of an inch. And then he heard her getting to her feet and walking away from him. He felt despair as her sweet smell couldn't reach his nostrils anymore, and when he heard the door shut behind her.

Silence became unbearable. She wasn't the Kaori he had known. She was only an empty shell, like him, but he was still alive and fighting in his prison of flesh. Whereas she seemed hollow, as if life had deserted her body, as if she was a walking ghost. Like him during the last two months.

And that thought made him snap. No, he couldn't let her sink as low as he himself had sunk. He had to save her, he had to bring her back to life.

Anger like he had never felt before exploded inside him, making his blood boil and his muscles twitch. He focused and focused again, rage melting his numbness, sheer and ruthless willpower bending unresponsive nerves to his will.

And this time, his body responded. First his thumb, then the whole hand. He could feel his arms again now, and soon grabbed his sheets. But it wasn't enough. He forced his eyes open, and with a tremendous effort they obeyed. He could see, his vision blurred but slowly adjusting. He was in a hospital room, the Doc's clinic, and night had fallen. Outside his window the moon was shining brightly, as if encouraging him to have a stroll.

And a stroll he would soon have. He rose to a sitting position. His head spinned violently, but he waited for the ground to stop undulating. And when he felt better, he carefully rose to his feet. His legs were wobbly, but that would soon pass too, he knew it. He saw his outfit then. A hospital nightshirt. Urgh!

He looked around him and saw some of his clothes on a chair two steps away. He tore away the electrodes that were connecting him to the machines and shut the latter down before they could beep louder. He pulled out the IV in his left arm, then he got dressed. The effort was huge, but at least he wasn't semi-nude anymore.

And he left his bedroom. The corridor was calm and empty, and he didn't want to raise the alarm. He had to find Kaori. So he closed his eyes and followed her smell and her aura. And his feet led him. After a few metres, he stopped in front of a closed door, sensing that she was there. Heart beating furiously against his ribcage, wondering if she would welcome him or throw him out, he knocked.

No answer. But he knew she didn't talk. So he entered. And there she was, just like he had pictured her, curled up into a small ball upon her bed, a blanket around her frail shoulders, a vacant look in her eyes. She was staring at the moon, not paying him any attention. He stepped inside and closed the door, then approached cautiously.

Still she didn't react, even when he was only a metre away from her. So he sat on the chair next to her and called her softly. "Kaori!"

She jumped, alarmed, and turned her gaze towards him. She obviously didn't expect him, and her reaction made his heart sink. But he had to be brave, for her. He had to bring her back, at whatever cost.

She was staring at him, still looking far away, too far away from him. His mere presence wasn't enough. So he gently took her hand. It was freezing cold. He pressed it kindly between his and spoke with a soft voice.

"Kaori, I know that I let you down. I'm sorry I couldn't wake up sooner. And I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I'm sorry you had to kill this man because of me."

He saw tears pouring down from her eyes, but her face remained blank. She was still in shock. He didn't know how much time had passed since the incident, but it was still vivid in Kaori's mind, and his. He went on.

"I'm really grateful to you, Kaori. I didn't deserve such a sacrifice from you. I'm a murderer, a nobody, and yet you saved me from certain death. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart."

She didn't stop crying, and he wondered if she was really listening to him. Words weren't his forte, but now they were all he had to save her. But these words weren't important. They were meaningless to her. Anybody could tell her that, just anybody. And she wasn't anybody. She was the woman he loved, so much that he hadn't hesitated to place himself between her and Hikaru's gun to protect her. He had to do better than that.

But what could he say? Saying more would be like tossing away the tough body armour he had carefully builded around him since his childhood. It wasn't easy. In fact, it was painfully hard. And he would have to pour his heart out, speak about his feelings, and he was scared. So scared. For him it would be like showing weakness, a huge flaw, something he had known for years that it could get him betrayed and killed. And he feared her rejection, he feared the pain it would give him.

But she was Kaori. The best young woman there was to find. The best there was to love. And even if she couldn't love him, because of what he was, because of what he did, he had to tell her. To stir her. To save her.

So he gulped down his fear and spoke softly again, hoping that she was still there somewhere and that his words would reach her. He discarded all his shell, he lay everything down at her feet, and she would do whatever she pleased with what he had to offer her: his whole being.

"Kaori, please listen to me. It's so bloody difficult for me. I'm not good with words. But I can't make you understand otherwise. So please, just listen to me. After that, your command, I'll obey."

He took a deep breath and went on, the young beautiful woman still staring at him.

"Since I was a child, I've been trained to kill. I became a killing machine. A good one. I killed without remorse, or so I thought. But taking a life is never easy. It tears one's soul apart. Mine was shredded to bits when I wasn't even sixteen. I'm mangled beyond repair. But although I don't have any right to feel that way, since we met on your birthday, I feel better. I feel alive. I feel like I want to be a better person.

"And I feel that way thanks to you, Kaori. You're so kind and pure and gentle and strong, it makes me feel whole again. Next to you I feel happy, it's as if you're stitching my soul back bit by bit. I know we weren't next to each other very often, but it's the truth. Kaori, I..."

He couldn't say it. He had no right to say it. But she was listening to him, he saw it clearly. She was hanging at his every word, and her eyes had regained some twinkle. A faint one, but it was there. He was bringing her back. He couldn't stop now. So he braced himself, diving deep into his mending soul to extract the truth.

"I fell in love with you, Kaori."

Surprise showed on her face, and this time she started to sob. But he misunderstood it, thinking she was appalled at hearing him saying this. So he said, guts twisting as if Umibozu was playing knots with them "I'm sorry, but I had to tell you the truth about how I feel. I understand that it shockes you. I won't resent you for being mad at me. If you want me to leave, I shall do it."

She abruptly rose her eyes, a puzzled and bewildered expression on her face, then she vigorously shook her head. This time it was his turn to be lost. Why did she cry if she didn't want him to leave? Was she...?

And then she opened her blanket, grabbed his hand and pulled him towards her. Thunderstruck, he didn't move at first, but when she made a very small smile, her brown eyes a little warmer, he complied. He would do whatever she wanted.

She made him lie on his back on the bed, and she nestled in the crook of his arm, a hand on his chest. He put his arm around her and covered her with the blanket, and within two minutes she fell asleep. _How nice_, he thought as his eyelids grew heavy, bliss in every cell of his body. _She's sleeping on me, she's feeling good enough to trust me to be her pillow. That's enough for me. More, much more than I deserve._ And he fell asleep too, an angel in his arms.

* * *

**A/N:**** So this is it for our favourite couple, do you think? Nope, nope, nope! Some more twists and turns coming up from yours truly ;D One more chapter to go!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:**** Last chapter! Hope you enjoy it!**

**A little explanation: the song I use is sung by Slimane, and it's very coincidental that I found it just after beginning this story! Indeed he uses many 'Et si' which is translated by 'What if', and the song is so exactly what I wanted for the end of this fic that I couldn't just ignore it ;)**

* * *

**Chapter 6:**** What if?**

When she woke up, Kaori dimly wondered why she was feeling so good. She had spent the last week crying and hugging herself, in a catatonic state as the Professor had told Miki, Umibozu and Saeko, but now she was feeling almost like her old self. And then she realized why.

She was half-lying on a still sleeping Ryo, in her bedroom of the Professor's clinic, on her bed, under her blanket. He was fully dressed, but he had his right arm around her. She could see the bandage on his left shoulder, under his T-shirt, and that made her remember what had happened.

He had woken up, he had come to see her, and he had told her he loved her. She remembered it very clearly. He had looked so vulnerable at the time, obviously afraid of her reaction, but she had simply felt bewilderment then a joy so intense she had dissolved into tears, since she never would've expected something like that from him.

And now she had a decision to make. She loved him too, so she could be with him at last, a couple discovering each other. But she had killed to be with him. And that wasn't easy to forget. And he was a killer too, he had confessed it. She knew from the beginning that he had killed many people, but this was quite different. She had to accept his past to be with him, to be able to love him fully. What was she going to do?

Carefully she extracted herself from his embrace. He groaned a little when she got up, but she tucked the blanket around him and caressed his cheek, where a cute stubble was growing, and it appeased him. She quickly got dressed, then watched him for long minutes.

_He looks so peaceful when he's asleep_, she thought. _Like a child. Like the child he never was._

The thought made her heart constrict in pain. She couldn't begin to fathom how much he suffered in his life, and now he was suffering because of her. He had unveiled his feelings towards her, he had offered himself to her, and she had to think about it?

But the truth was, she was utterly lost. She needed him badly, she needed him like air for breathing, but she needed to be away from him, to think about all that had happened, and to accept it. She had become a murderer, even if she had killed to protect him and herself, but she had to come to terms with it. And even if she knew Ryo could help her with that, she also knew she had to find the strength alone.

She had to leave now. Otherwise she would never be able to go away from him. She loved him too much. So she grabbed her few belongings and silently walked out. She had to be quick, dawn was breaking and the nurse would soon come to see her. She exited the clinic, fortunately she didn't meet anybody. And outside, she called a taxi.

Once inside the warm car, her thoughts wandered. She remembered the conversation she had had with Saeko, her brother's fiancée, about Ryo, three days after the incident.

The police inspector had come to her bedroom and introduced herself. Kaori had been very surprised to meet her, as her brother had wanted to wait to make introductions, but she hadn't been able to react properly, still in her catatonic state. And Saeko had talked about Ryo, making her cry.

"You know, Kaori, I want things to be very clear between us. I was in love with your brother, I was even engaged to him. And there won't be another man for me to love, ever. I've known Ryo since a long time now, he's a good friend for me. Probably my best friend, even if I'll never tell him this. He knows me better than anyone, but I can't say the same about him. He's terribly secretive and doesn't let anyone be too close to him.

"But you, you're special. He has changed much since he met you. And when he believed you dead, he died from the inside. I think he loves you, Kaori. I don't want to be meddlesome, but I don't know if he realizes it or if he'll tell you someday. So please be patient with him. He can be very obtuse and elusive, but he's faithful and tough. You won his heart, even if he doesn't know it yet. So, I beg you, don't let him down. He needs you just as much as you need him."

Saeko was right, of course, and Kaori was happy to know her at last, even if her pin-up appearance was a little annoying, but she didn't tell her. She had listened, she had thought about her words, she had been comforted in her love for the sweeper. And now he himself had revealed his love to her.

Yes, she couldn't leave like that, without letting him know what she was up to. He had trusted her so much, he had almost given his life for her, she couldn't let him down now. So she made the taxi stop at a post office and went inside. She wrote a letter and had it sent to Ryo, to be delivered one hour later. It was very expensive, but she still had the money he had sent her.

Once this done, she returned to the taxi and asked to be driven to Kyoto. It was quite a long trip, but she wanted to be out of Tokyo for a while. And she had a goal there, an orphanage run by a friend of hers who was always in need of a hand. There she would be useful, and maybe there she would be able to find herself again.

During the trip she only thought of Ryo, of his endearing confession, of his warm and tender embrace, of his lips on her hair, of his wonderful smell, of his dark twinkling eyes. How she would miss him! But she needed the time to admit her crime and pay for it by doing some good. _I'll soon come back, Ryo_, she thought, _I'll come back to you._

* * *

When Ryo woke up, he felt good at first, wrapped up as he was in Kaori's blanket with her sweet perfume on it, but then it dawned on him: he was alone in the bed! He sat bolt upright, making his head spin yet again, and searched the room with his eyes, but he had to see the evidence: Kaori had left. Her things were gone.

The first emotion that hit him was hurt. It hurt him to wake up alone after his confession of the night and the wonderful time they had shared sleeping together. But second, worry came. Why did she have to leave after all he had told her? After she had opened her arms for him? After she had been so close to him? Was she still in danger? Was it something else?

And then, just as he was getting to his feet and ready to run after her, he heard a soft knock on the door. A charming nurse came in, but his eyes didn't linger on her appealing curves, his mind was too focused on Kaori.

"Saeba-san?" she asked in surprise. "You're awake? And what are you doing here? Where's Makimura-san?"

"I don't know", he admitted, heart heavy with worry and hurt. "I came to talk to her, but she's gone."

"Gone?"

"I think so."

"But... in her state? I have to tell the Professor right away! Please go to your room, Saeba-san. You're not supposed to be up yet. The Professor will come to see you in a few minutes."

He obeyed, feeling miserable. Why did she leave so abruptly? It didn't make any sense. She had seemed so appeased last night, in his arms. And he himself had felt so much better, having her right next to his heart, her warm and soft body against his. And now he was all alone again.

He went to lie on his bed again, but five minutes hadn't passed when someone knocked at his door. Thinking that it was the Professor, he said "Come in."

But to his surprise, a delivery man came in and asked him, quite bored "Are you Saeba Ryo?"

"Yes", he answered after a second, bewildered.

"I have this for you."

The guy gave him an envelope, handed him a pad to sign, and left. Ryo hastily tore the thing open, he had recognized Kaori's handwriting.

_ Ryo,_

_I'm really sorry, but I have to leave for a while. So much has happened since six months, I'm completely lost. Believe me, it wrenches me to leave you after what you told me last night, and I had a tough time leaving your side this morning. But I have to think about all that happened. I killed a man. I don't regret it, since I killed him to save you. But I have a hard time accepting it. I'm sorry, but that's a hardship I have to pass alone. _

_Please give me time. I'll come back to you, I promise. You mean too much to me for me to leave you for good. _

_Yours lovingly _

_Makimura Kaori_

His heart sank, and he felt tears in the corner of his eyes. She left him. She was away again. And even if he understood her need to be alone, he had trouble accepting it.

Breathing hard, he fought down the lump in his throat. He didn't want anybody to see him this weak, not even the Professor who had yet seen him in a much worse state. And he thought hard.

Kaori needed time. He would give it to her. He would leave her alone and trust her to come back soon. She had written that she was sorry, after all. And he loved her. He would do anything for her, even be away from her if that was what she needed.

And she had written 'Yours lovingly', and that 'he meant too much to her to leave him for good'. Did that mean that she loved him too? Hope rose in his chest, swelling like a balloon and making him smile a little. Yes, he would be patient for her. And in the meantime, he had work to do.

* * *

Three months that Ryo was waiting impatiently for Kaori's return. He had healed well, he had resumed his job as City Hunter, he had tidied and scrubbed his apartment until it gleamed to be ready for his princess. He had put all her things in the bedroom next to his, hoping that it would be temporary and that she would soon share his.

He had even started to become friends with Umibozu and Miki, who had bought a small café, and had helped them fitting it out. Now he went to the Cat's Eye café every morning, drinking his black coffee while trying to flirt with Miki and ending up under a tray thrown by Umibozu.

But this morning, fleeing the chill of the cold January morning, when he set foot inside the café he immediately froze. Something was amiss. Closing the door behind him, he stayed on the doormat, listening intently, looking carefully around him. Behind the counter, Umibozu was staring at him from behind his sunglasses, impassive as always like the true professional he was, but Miki had tensed. A tiny movement in her shoulders, but he noticed it.

"Ryo?" Miki asked him with a would-be normal voice. "Is everything okay?"

"You tell me, Miki-chan", he said calmly, gazing intently at her.

She blushed a little, but next to her Falcon asked him "The usual?"

"Please."

Ryo went to sit on his favourite chair, but this time he did nothing to bother Miki. He was feeling her presence. His angel was here. Her enticing smell was floating around him, driving him crazy. Listening with all his might, he even heard a faint movement behind the door leading to the couple's living place. So she came back, and she was hiding from him.

He didn't know what to make of this. He was slowly dying waiting for her, and she was shying away from him. But maybe she was still waiting for him. He had to make the first move again. She was the fragile one, he was the tough guy, or so he thought, not wanting to ponder the fact that she was the one who had the power to bring him to his knees.

He had to tell her that he was waiting for her too. But how, if she didn't want to see him? He had to think about it. He drained his coffee and rose to leave.

"Good day to you, Miki, Umi."

He left, leaving the couple of bartenders baffled at his normal demeanour and his nice words, something they weren't used to from him, and went to walk in the bustling streets of his neighbourhood.

How could he make her understand without talking to her? A letter? Would it be enough? But he wasn't good with words. How to solve this problem?

After a few hours, he walked inside a small restaurant he didn't know and sat down at a small table in a corner. He hadn't paid any attention at the place he came in, but he soon realized that he was in a French restaurant. He ordered some promising delicacy, something called 'boeuf bourguignon', and while waiting for his plate he listened to the music playing softly. He noticed that the songs playing were simultaneously translated on a screen near the counter, and he absent-mindedly read the texts.

When suddenly a song jerked him out of his reverie. A song telling exactly what he felt, as if it had been written for his situation, a song perfectly fitted for his problem. So when the waiter brought him his plate, before he could wolf it down in relish he asked him about the song, and the waiter soon came with the translation and the details. But Ryo handed him a USB key. He would make something with this song.

* * *

Kaori had arrived two days ago from Kyoto, and she had phoned Miki. She couldn't go see Ryo yet. She was dying being away from him, but she was shy. She couldn't just knock on his door and say "Hi!". After three months being apart, that wouldn't do.

Miki had invited her to the place she shared now with Umibozu. The two of them were a strange-looking but happy couple, and Kaori was delighted for her best friend. After six years, they were finally together, and that was good to watch.

But for her, things weren't so easy. She knew she had to make the first move now, as he had already declared himself, and as she was the one who had left. But it was so bloody difficult! She didn't know where to start. She hadn't even had the courage to come to the café and see him! She missed him terribly, as if he was keeping a large chunk of her heart and her lungs with him, but she had hid behind a stupid door because she wasn't ready to see him yet. _How ridiculous!_ she thought.

And this morning wasn't better. She had tried to convince herself to make an appearance in the café, to wait for his arrival, but she was still hiding behind the door. Miki had tried to reason to her, telling her that Ryo was all ready to welcome her with no reproach in his thoughts, but she had trouble believing it. How could he not resent her? After what he had told her, she had fled him!

But she froze as the door opened and she recognized his footsteps. His aura was unique, even if it was peaceful right now, but she could feel it, vibrating in every inch of her soul. She longed to see him. She was about to pull the door open and run into the café, into his arms, when his words stopped her dead on her feet.

"Hi, Miki! Could you give this to Kaori, please?"

"Ryo, what are you talking about? Kaori isn't here!"

"Of course she is, Miki dear. It's okay, don't worry. But please give this to her. The translation is inside."

"Ryo..."

But the door closed shut. Kaori had heard him leaving, and her heart squeezed in dismay. He knew! And he had something for her! A gift from him! It was so heartwarming she hugged herself in utter happiness, wishing it were his arms instead of hers.

Miki came to see her a minute later.

"You heard?" she asked with a sympathetic look.

"Yes", Kaori nodded.

"I'm sorry, but he's very perceptive. It's almost impossible to surprise him."

"Don't be sorry. Maybe it's better this way. What did he give you for me?"

"A CD. Here you are."

Kaori took it, puzzled. What could he have done with this?

"If you want to play it, use the stereo system", Miki offered, pointing to the machine on the nearest chest of drawers.

She left then, and Kaori put the CD in the stereo. A song played, a man with a pleasant voice was singing with emotion, but she didn't understand a single word. So she looked at the sheet of paper folded in the case and read carefully, putting the song on 'repeat'. And what she read upset her.

_Et si tu connaissais ma vie **What if you knew my life**_

_Et si mon coeur t'avait tout dit **What if my heart had told you everything**_

_Et si je t'avais pas menti? **What if I hadn't lied to you?**_

_Et si j'avais osé parler **What if I had dared speak **_

_Et si mes mots t'avaient touchée **What if my words had moved you**_

_Et si tu savais pardonner? **What if you knew how to forgive?**_

_Même si c'est mort **Even if it's over**_

_Même si t'as peur **Even if you're scared**_

_Même si j'ai tort **Even if I'm wrong**_

_Si ce n'est qu'un leurre **If it's just a decoy**_

_Que dans le décor **That in the scenery**_

_Tout est cassé **Everything is broken**_

_C'est pas fini nous deux **It's not over for the two of us**_

_Ce n'est qu'le début nous deux **It's only the beginning for the two of us**_

_Même si c'est fou nous deux **Even if it's crazy for the two of us**_

_Je t'en prie, reviens **I beg you to come back**_

_C'est pas fini nous deux **It's not over for the two of us**_

_Ce n'est qu'le début nous deux **It's only the beginning for the two of us**_

_Même si c'est douloureux **Even if it hurts**_

_Je t'en prie, reviens **I beg you to come back**_

_Nous deux, nous deux **The two of us, the two of us**_

_Nous deux, nous deux **The two of us, the two of us**_

_Et si les souvenirs, les photos **What if the memories, the photos**_

_Et si c'était nous, c'était beau **What if it was us, it was beautiful**_

_Et si ça vaut ce que ça vaut? **What if it's worth what it's worth?**_

_Et si tu penses un peu à moi **What if you think a little about me**_

_Et si je te manque quelquefois **What if you miss me sometimes**_

_Et si tu as besoin de mes bras? **What if you need my arms?**_

_Même si c'est mort **Even if it's over**_

_Même si j'ai peur **Even if I'm scared**_

_Même si t'as tort **Even if you're wrong**_

_Si ce n'est qu'un leurre **If it's just a decoy**_

_J'nous jette un sort **I put a spell on us**_

_Pour oublier **To forget**_

_C'est pas fini nous deux **It's not over for the two of us**_

_Ce n'est qu'le début nous deux **It's only the beginning for the two of us**_

_Même si c'est fou nous deux **Even if it's crazy for the two of us**_

_Je t'en prie, reviens **I beg you to come back**_

_C'est pas fini nous deux **It's not over for the two of us**_

_Ce n'est qu'le début nous deux **It's only the beginning for the two of us**_

_Même si c'est douloureux **Even if it hurts**_

_Je t'en prie, reviens **I beg you to come back**_

_Nous deux, nous deux **The two of us, the two of us**_

_Nous deux, nous deux **The two of us, the two of us**_

_Si j'avais l'art et la manière _**_If I had the skill and style_**

_De retourner en arrière **To go back in track**_

_De te dire 'ça ira' **To tell you it'll be all right**_

_Et si nous ne sommes que poussière **And if we're only dust**_

_Et si l'amour ça se perd **And if love gets lost**_

_Tant pis, nous deux ça ira **Never mind, it'll be all right for the two of us**_

_C'est pas fini nous deux **It's not over for the two of us**_

_Ce n'est qu'le début nous deux **It's only the beginning for the two of us**_

_Même si c'est fou nous deux **Even if it's crazy for the two of us**_

_Je t'en prie, reviens **I beg you to come back**_

_C'est pas fini nous deux **It's not over for the two of us**_

_Ce n'est qu'le début nous deux **It's only the beginning for the two of us**_

_Même si c'est douloureux **Even if it hurts**_

_Je t'en prie, reviens **I beg you to come back**_

_Nous deux, nous deux **The two of us, the two of us**_

_Nous deux, nous deux **The two of us, the two of us**_

_C'est pas fini **It's not over **_

She was sobbing at the end of the song. It was such a beautiful song, even in French, and so like Ryo. It was as if he had told the author to write about his feelings, and the guy did it exactly. She extracted the CD and put it and the paper with the translation in her duffel bag, with all her things, and she went to the café.

The place was empty except for the bartenders. Miki looked carefully at her while Falcon shot her a distracted look and turned back to his cup washing, and the young woman asked her wistfully "So, was the song okay?"

"It was beautiful", Kaori said, eyes still losing water.

"That I can see", Miki said gently. "Ready to meet him?"

"Yes. Now I'm ready."

Miki nodded once, and Falcon said simply "See you tomorrow, Kaori-chan."

Kaori thanked them profusely, making them blush, and gestured at an idle taxi. Five minutes later she was at the foot of Ryo's building. She took her time to walk up the stairs, thinking about what she would say to him. She wanted to apologise, she wanted to tell him exactly what she had done in the orphanage, she wanted to share her feelings with him. She wanted to tell him how much she had missed him. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him.

She arrived on his doorstep. She was about to knock when the door opened, and he faced her, his face full of the unknown emotion. And when she blushed, she understood. It was love. Unconditional and irrational love.

He stepped back, still not saying a word but eyes becoming dangerously bright. So she entered his apartment, followed him to her bedroom with all her things neatly arranged in a welcome gesture, still without a word. She lay her duffel bag on the bed, turned to face him and walked to him. She rose her head to look at him in the eye and murmured, a hand caressing his cheek "I love you, Ryo."

And he bent his head as she rose hers some more, and their lips met at last. As they embraced each other, hands wandering wildly, Kaori felt like she was melting inside him, fireworks exploding everywhere in her body. That she had always belonged to him, that her place in this world was there, nestled against his large chest. There she felt whole, she felt herself, she was healing.

"Kaori", he whispered as they pulled away to take some air. "I'm so glad you came back."

"Thank you for having waited for me", she said, eyes blurring fast. "And thank you for the song, it's so beautiful."

"My angel", he said, making her cry. "Please don't leave me ever again. Stay with me, always."

And then she saw his eyes full of tears, she saw his wet cheeks, so she kissed them, licking the moisture away.

Everything went naturally from there. They discovered each other, she became his and he became hers, she gave herself to him and he gently took her, making love and hugging and cuddling and caressing each other all day and all night long.

When another dawn broke, she regained some sense of reality. She was feeling so good, so whole! But she had one more thing to tell him, about their future. He was slowly stirring under her, so she kissed him awake, caressing his soft skin and enjoying the sight of his sleepy eyes and beautiful face. She said "Good morning, my love."

"Hmmmmh, I love you calling me that. But wait, I love you, period."

"I love you, Ryo. But I have to tell you something."

He straightened, looking a little troubled, and he heart squeezed in dismay. She knew that she had hurt him a lot by leaving, and even if he obviously forgave her, she knew he would have a tough time forgetting it. And she would never forgive herself. But she went on.

"I assume you'll keep up the job as City Hunter."

"Do you want me to?" he asked her seriously. "Or do you want me to quit?"

"No, I want you to go on doing it. This city needs you. The best sweeper that can be found. And the best man I could find. But I want to do it with you. I want to be your partner."

"You don't have to do it because of your brother", he said gently, caressing her cheek and making her blush.

"It's not for my brother", she corrected him with a smile. "It's for me. It's just so that I can be with you, always, and have your back. But I'm not a sweeper. You are. I won't use a gun anymore, unless in absolute necessity. But I want to be your partner, in your job and in your life."

"And so are you", he said, his eyes full of love. "Since the very first day, you've been my partner, Kaori. It's just that it took time for me to realize it. We are City Hunter, both of us."

And she kissed him to seal the deal. Yes, she was City Hunter as much as he was. For now and for ever.

* * *

**Hope you liked this story! Please leave a review!**


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